tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28318771281122130812024-03-21T16:12:25.231-07:00The Journey From Mourning to JoyA support group for mothers experiencing the loss of a child. The death of our children at any age, from any circumstance is indeed one of the cruelest blows life has to offer. The journey through grief is long, dark, difficult and painful. But know that you will smile and find joy again; you will never forget your child, he or she will be in your heart and memories for as long as you live.The Journey from Mourning to Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06461446898837600332noreply@blogger.comBlogger586125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-41211059867472829592015-02-18T00:01:00.000-07:002015-02-18T11:42:59.537-07:00Sorrow Is Not Forever Love Is<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Aquaduct; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Sorrow Is Not Forever Love Is</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 9.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Hope you enjoy the following article
"Sorrow is not forever ~ Love Is" which I have found is very
true...Although the heartache of losing our children will be with us always,
the pain does soften so that going forward, as thy would want us to do, gets
easier with time... But by the same token, I think our love for them and those
around us grows as we get stronger.. it changes us forever .. and proves the
theory that true love never dies...Cherie Houston</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">~ Michael A. Simpson,
Birmingham, AL - Bereaved Parents, St. Louis March/April 2006 Newsletter</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">So often, one attempts
to face the whole future at once. But we will not live that period
all at once, only day by day. Don’t try to face twenty
years. Face today.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">When that has been
achieved, face tomorrow. You will find more and more ways in which
you can cope. The Chinese have a saying that a journey of a thousand
miles starts with a single step. There is no way you can take the
fifteenth, or the two hundred-seventh step, before you have taken the first.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">It can be difficult to
face going out again and resuming your regular activities. IT can
take more courage to face the little things than the big things in
life. Going out shopping for groceries for the first time can become
an ordeal. Making the change more complete could
help. Try a different store, a different day or time, and go with a
friend. When it seems very hard to decide what to do first, maybe
it’s not very important where you start, as long as you
start. Choose a simple task and get started. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Once </span>you've<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> begun, it
will be far easier to set your priorities, and you will have gained in
confidence for already having achieved something.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-22491913050310009522015-02-16T12:48:00.002-07:002015-02-16T12:49:22.504-07:00Grief - Stages & scars<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“A cut finger
is numb before it bleeds; it bleeds before it hurts, it hurts until it begins
to heal; it forms a scab and itches until finally, the scab is gone and a small
scar is left where once there was a wound. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Grief is the deepest wound you ever
had. Like a cut finger, it goes through stages, and leaves a scar - visible or
not, there is a scar”</span></i><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><br />
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<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Author Unknown</span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-37272392046341563642014-11-24T11:22:00.000-07:002014-11-24T11:42:06.062-07:00December 14th, National Childrens Memorial Day: Candle Lighting Ceremony & Proclamation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Open Arms for
Empty Hearts</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> will be holding the annual candle
lighting event on December 14 at London Bridge Beach. The event begins at 6:30pm to ensure that
everyone has their candles ready to light at 7pm. As most of you know,
this is an event that is held around the world and candles are lighted at 7pm
in each time zone so that candles can burn continuously across the continent,
in memory of our children lost too soon. This event is open to everyone,
so please pass the word.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Also note that the <b><i>Open
Arms for Empty Hearts</i></b> will hold their December meeting on Thursday, December
11th, the day before the Candle Lighting Ceremony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Please note that starting in 2015, <b><i>Open
Arms for Empty Hearts</i></b> will begin meeting on the 1st and last Thursday
of each month. Since the 1st Thursday in January is New Years Day, our
first meeting of the new year will be the last Thursday of the month, January
29th. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Please note the following Proclamation
signed by the honorable Mayor, </span>Mark S Nexsen, Mayor of Lake Havasu City, Arizona:<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Office of the Mayor Lake Havasu City, Arizona
Proclamation<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"NATIONAL
CHILDREN'S MEMORIAL DAY"<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">December
14, 2014<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WHEREAS, approximately 80,000 infants, children, teenagers, and young
adults of families living throughout the United States die each year from
countless causes; and<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WHEREAS, the death of an infant, child, teenager; and young adult
of a family is considered to be one q/the greatest tragedies that a parent or family
will ever endure during a lifetime; and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />WHEREAS, Open Arms for Empty Hearts is a supportive group that
provides empathy and understanding in the healing process for a family that is
coping with and recovering from the loss of a loved one; and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />WIIEREAS, Open Arms för Empty Hearts is open to all moms who have
lost a child or in some instances, children: and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />WHEREAS, Open Arms for Empty Hearts observes National Children 's
Memorial Day every year along with others around the world, in every time zone
at 7:00 p.m. on the Sunday of December in remembrance of loved ones that have passed on;
creating a 24-hour international candle lighting ceremony that encircles the
globe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />NOW, THEREFORE, I, Mark S Nexsen, Mayor of Lake Havasu City,
Arizona, do hereby proclaim Sunday, December 14, 2014 as</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"NATIONAL CHILDREN'S MEMORIAL DAY"</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, and urge all citizens both in public
ceremonies and in private thoughts and prayers to honor the children we have
lost, the children who have lived and died and who, even in death, continue to
matter.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-61575902681566098892014-10-15T11:03:00.004-07:002016-01-20T11:09:17.550-07:00Hug an Angel Mom Today<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302948px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Today is Pregnancy, Infant, and Child loss awareness day-it makes no difference the age of the child or how they died. Take a moment to think about all the angels that have left us too soon. Hug an angel parent you know and remember, though today is a day of awareness, hope, and light, it is still very hard for a lot of parents. 1 in 4 parents know this feeling all to well. You are welcome to join the Wave of light tonight, by lighting a candle from 7pm-8pm.</span><br />
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Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-9354465875647481452014-10-01T00:01:00.000-07:002014-10-15T12:01:30.151-07:00Stop Looking in the rear view mirror...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";"><span style="font-size: small;">Stop
Looking in the rear view mirror... <o:p></o:p></span></span></h1>
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<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">~ by Cherie Houston</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">I originally wrote this in the Fall of 2011 - and must admit I read it quite often to remind myself of the importance of "looking ahead".. Two weeks ago, the 5th year anniversary of my 36 year old son Bobby's death came-we had a memorial mass and most of our family joined us for breakfast including all 12 of our grandchildren, 2 of whom are his little boys.. I have to admit that these last six months have been very difficult for me - who knows, maybe I'm finally facing the reality of it all... But I know I'm not alone, so I thought I'd share this with you again and hope that you can find it helpful.. and now that none of us is alone on this unpredictable journey of finding that new normal after the deaths of our children...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Within months of our son Bobby’s death in September 2009, my daughter-in-law
Jennifer (Bobby’s wife) and I and several friends met this amazing woman –
Maureen Hancock…Maureen is blessed with several talents, one of which is
helping people who are dying to become comfortable with what’s happening – the
majority of her clients are children… Maureen is blessed, without a question,
in being able to understand their fears and concerns which almost always have
to do with the family they will soon be leaving behind..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Recently, Maureen made the following statement about one of her patients..</span><br />
<br />
<em style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">I met the bravest woman last
week~Mary A. She's down to the wire with her battle with ALS. She has a
beautiful family that surrounds her in blankets of love. Her one
question..."Will I get to see my children grow up?" YES! I assured
her. For all those healthy & reading this w/children...are you watching
them grow up? Don't live to work, work to live. Maureen Hancock</em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">
When I heard this, I thought of all of us who have lost our own children who
often become so lost in our own grief and longing for our child who has died,
that we unintentionally, but sadly forget about our family who is still
living…Not that we mean to, but it is so easy to dwell on what we’ve lost, that
sometimes we lose sight of what we still have… </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">
It’s so important to begin to look and move forward – we can’t change what’s
happened or what is behind us, but we can certainly have an impact on what is happening
today at this moment and appreciate all the blessings we have – our own
siblings, our significant others, maybe we are even blessed to have other
children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, our own parents or
in-laws, friends, associates – so many people who care about us..</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">
Yes we all need to think about spending a little more time looking ahead
instead of in the rear view mirror before it’s too late…</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">
Thank you Maureen for this reminder...</span><br />
<br />
<strong><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Maureen Hancock</span></i></strong><em><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"> is a nationally
renowned spirit medium, teacher, lecturer, holistic healer, and author of the
book, The Medium Next Door; co-founder of the non-profit organization, Mission
for the Missing, providing assistance and equipment in missing children and
adult cases. Maureen is an associate member of the Licensed Private Detective
Association of Massachusetts. She has been featured in numerous articles and
can be heard on radio stations around the country - she resides in a small town
south of Boston, Massachusetts with her husband, two children and chocolate
lab, Ally. Maureen, in my opinion is amazing.. </span></em><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
</span><em><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">check
out Maureen's website: </span></em><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.maureenhancock.com/"><em><b><span style="color: windowtext;">www.maureenhancock.com</span></b></em></a><span style="font-size: 15.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-55540845934352753342014-04-01T00:01:00.000-07:002014-04-01T00:01:00.443-07:00A Bereaved Parent’s Spring<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>A Bereaved Parent’s Spring</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow', sans-serif;">By Terre Belt, BP/USA , Anne Arundel
County Chapter<span style="font-size: x-small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Regardless
of the calendar or the meteorologists, April marks the beginning of spring for
many of us. The world outside begins to
awaken from its winter slumber and the sights and sounds and smells of spring
abound, from the flowers peeking out of the ground to the birds chirping
merrily outside our windows to the smell of the blooming trees as we venture
out for our first walk of the season.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">This
is what spring is all about unless, of course, you are a “newly” bereaved
parent and then you might just be oblivious to it all. In fact, you may even resent the reappearance
of spring and its symbolic rebirth. The
message to you from an “old timer” on this grief journey is to be easy on
yourself…it won’t always be this hard and just fell whatever you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you how you “should”
feel this spring (or next.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Like
all seasons, spring will have its share of emotional triggers for the newly
bereaved – graduations, Mother’s Day, planning for summer vacations, favorite
flowers and just waking up. But just as
April showers bring May flowers….the tears of grief will ultimately sow the
seeds of hope and someday you too will see the beauty of spring again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">For
those of us who have been on our grief journey for awhile, not only do we
recognize (and welcome) the beauty of spring again, but we also see our
children in everything that is beautiful in spring. It is our way of carrying them with us
through spring and through all of the seasons. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">So, as spring unfolds, here’s wishing each of you peace and whatever joy
you are able to find. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-45198368083437653662014-03-26T00:01:00.000-07:002014-03-27T06:17:02.961-07:00Is Crying a Requirement in Grieving?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>I just came across this article that I'd cut out some time
ago. So many articles we've shared like
this one, are just simple reminders that "grief is unique" the way in
which we grieve is different for each and every one of us. There are so many variables (who we lost, the
circumstances, who've we've lost before, our past experiences with grief - yes
there are so many variables)</i></div>
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<i>Grief and the grieving process will also change along the
journey - like each river that flows - grief charts it's own course - there are
no hard & fast rules, and there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. Like it or not, we will each find our own way
and when it's someone else's turn remember that love and patience is what they
need most - just being there for them is what counts... Cherie Houston<span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Question - My
34-year-old son died last year after a three-year bout with cancer. I miss him
terribly, but I haven't cried about his death. Is this normal?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Response from
Edward T. Creagan, M.D.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Grief is a universal human
experience. Your response to grief may be highly individual, however. Crying is
an important part of the grieving process for many people, but a lack of tears
doesn't necessarily indicate that the grieving process has gone awry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Many factors affect the grieving
process, including:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The nature
of the relationship with the person who died<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The quality
of the relationship<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The time you
had to prepare for the loss<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;">§<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Your own
personality<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It's OK if you don't feel like
crying. You may simply need time and space to grieve your son's death in your
own way. It's important to make sure that you're dealing with your feelings
appropriately, however.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you're isolating yourself, you're
having trouble completing your usual daily activities or you feel like crying
but can't, consider seeking the help of a grief counselor or other mental
health provider. A counselor may suggest various behavior therapies to help you
re-establish a sense of control and direction in your life. You may find
comfort through a support group as well. In a few cases, short-term use of
antidepressants or other medications may be warranted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The grieving process commands
respect and requires time. However, unresolved grief can lead to depression and
other mental health problems. If you're concerned about reaching a healthy
resolution to your grief, seek the professional help you deserve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-21395081159874860072014-03-20T13:43:00.000-07:002014-03-20T13:43:03.110-07:00On a Child's Death<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="color: #354461; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;">There are so many poems I keep in my nightstand for those nights when sleep is illusive and the stark reality of a future that is changed forever, you know that heartbreaking reality that we re moving forward in the time "after a child's death" - yes those nights that seem to hold me in their grip.. it is poems like these that help soften the pain and heartache and </span><span style="color: #354461; font-family: Comic Sans MS;">sadness</span><span style="color: #354461; font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: small;"> of losing my children... I hope that when we share poems like these, that you also will find them a source of peace.. Cherie Houston</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>ON A CHILD'S DEATH</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">~ BY Virginia Ellis</span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">All
heaven was in mourning, The day that young man died;<br />
When He closed His eyes, they said, Ten thousand angels cried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The angels shed their
many tears, Because He was God's Son;<br />
But there is a special sadness, When God takes the very young.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">At times like that, I
question God, Why let a child die?<br />
I cannot understand it, And I need to ask Him why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I, too, have heard the
angels cry, I've heard them cry first hand;<br />
For I, too, gave up a child, And I've tried hard to understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yes, I received God's comfort, Though I'm grateful, I want more;<br />
I want reasons; I want meaning, I am a parent who's heart-sore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">God can give, and God can
take, I am well aware of this;<br />
But, why my baby ... why my child?<br />
Why did God put him on His list?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Did I love my child too
much? Was he too good for this old earth?<br />
Had his purpose here been filled? Was that why he was taken first?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I awake each day with
questions, I fall asleep at night, the same;<br />
So many times I ask God why, I'm both saddened and ashamed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But then, in reflective
moments, When my prayers are most intense,<br />
One word keeps going through my mind, Patience ... patience ... patience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maybe now is not the
time, To explain this great heartache;<br />
Even if I knew God's reasons, What difference would it make?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Can't I just be
grateful, For any time we had?<br />
Accept God's action without question? Why is that so very bad?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What's my hurry ... why
my pressure? Is my faith not strong enough?<br />
God will explain it when He's ready, Surely I can trust that much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">God understands my broken
heart, He, too, gave up a Son;<br />
He knows the pain of one lost child, He weeps with me, and we are one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #354461; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Just as I talk to God
each day, I talk to my precious child;<br />
I blow him kisses, and I say, "See you, honey, in a while."</span></div>
</div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-6937116914770344762014-03-13T00:01:00.000-07:002014-03-13T00:01:03.888-07:00A new of "grieving"<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ shared from Susan Leemont - Boulder, CO (BP)</i></span></span></div>
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<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">No doubt since the death of our child, someone has been kind
enough to share with us that we must all go through the “normal stages of
grief” and then kindly list them for us.…
These “stages” were defined as a result of many studies, but the most
popular seemed to be based on Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> which resulted in her book: </span></span><em><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">On Death and Dying </span></em><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">(Scribner),
which was published in 1969.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Although much of that is probably still true, more recent
research seems to suggest – as we very well know from experience, that for most
people, grieving is rarely a straight passage through discrete phases ending in
healing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To those of us who have gone thru this, we know that it is a
constantly changing pattern, that seems to jump out at us when we least expect
it, catch us off guard and then retreat again so we can catch our breath – some
say similar to one of those scary houses we may walk thru in Disney or at a
carnival… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I came across this article and I want to share it with you
because I think it helps to validate how grief really feels – not nice and neat
in a fixed set of “stages” like those we heard about when we got pregnant – but
the reality of what we feel and experience.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dr. Holly Prigerson states that grief it tends to occur in fits
and starts, sometimes quickly, sometimes over a number of years. The way it
unfolds varies dramatically, too, depending on whom you've lost and the nature
of your relationship. Perhaps more surprising, research suggests that whomever
a person is grieving for—a well-loved parent, spouse, friend or child—human
beings are surprisingly resilient.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Holly Prigerson, Ph.D., is the director of the
Center for Psycho-Oncology and Palliative Care Research at the Dana-Farber
Cancer Institute in Boston, and as a result of a study she has done with
hundreds of mourners, she discovered that while nearly all people go through a
very rough period where they cry, long for the loved one, have difficulty
eating and can't concentrate, 85 percent start feeling somewhat better in about
six months. Even more hopeful, there are steps everyone can take to help the
recovery process along, regardless of whom you're missing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A new view of grieving
- </span></b><span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Like life itself,
grief isn't something that unfolds neatly, starting on cue with denial and
continuing until the mourner reaches the final stage, accepting that the person
is gone. In Dr. Prigerson’s two-year
study of mourners, Prigerson found that rather than denial or anger, most
mourners feel an acute sense of yearning and sadness throughout that fades and
eases as time passes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #242424; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"There's no orderly progression of
Kübler-Ross's hypothetical phases," Prigerson confirms. "It's more
accurate to say that the emotions associated with grief exist simultaneously,
then slowly decline as feelings of acceptance rise," she explains.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-47446320340794855902014-03-06T00:01:00.000-07:002014-03-06T00:01:01.073-07:00March Winds<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i>~ Lovingly shared from ~ Betty Davis, Marion Ohio BP/USA</i></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">As
the winds blow, often violently, it is as if there is an attempt to wake us
from our winter lethargy. The birds
began to sing, calling to us. The
dormant trees begin to move in the breeze.
We see the first buds. Witness a
crocus peeping through the encrusted ground. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Regardless of our griefs and regrets, life goes on, whether we
participate or not. This can be a season
of renewal. We can symbolically plant a
flower, a tree, or a bush, and nurture it as we loved our child. As the plant flourishes and adds beauty to
our lives, we can experience a sense of creation just as our child added
meaning to our lives. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">It’s time to sort
out the good memories when we do our spring cleaning. Discard the anger, regret, disappointment and
sorrow. Shake it out and throw it
away. Hold on to all that is good. Cherish it forever. It’s time to make a constructive effort to
restore ourselves. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">We hope the gales of
the March winds will awaken you to a new beginning. May the ‘winter of our discontent’
disappear. We wish for you to live in
the future with your happy memories. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-1557452803780374892014-03-01T00:01:00.000-07:002014-03-02T07:57:19.885-07:00Hope for the Day<h4>
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Spring, a time of renewed and hope arrives in just a few weeks on March 20th.. we hope you can find some joy in the small signs of new life, as well as a sense of renewed hope & peace about the future.. We are hoping that by sharing this story from Clara Hinton, you can begin to move from that black hole of grief...Cherie Houston</span></i><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">~ by Clara Hinton of </span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> </span></b><b><i><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">www.silentgrief.com<o:p></o:p></span></u></i></b></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">“HOPE FOR THE DAY”</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> <span style="font-weight: normal;"> When grief is new and so raw, it takes up all of our time and energy. We forget what day it is, and worse yet, we don’t even care. We stop going out, we forget appointments, and we withdraw from life as we once new it. Grief affects every part of our being!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: normal;"> At first, we expect this kind of response to our grief. We need to do so much adapting to a new world, a new place to call home, and a new way to find joy. We can’t rush through this process!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: normal;"> But, there comes a time in our lives when we will be faced with the most difficult choice of all. Do we stay in our deep grief, or do we make a conscious effort to take one step at a time and try to move forward into a place of hope!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: normal;"> Most of us make the choice to move on because we know that’s what is best. If we stay in that deep black hole of grief for too long, we’ll miss another spring. And, we don’t want to miss the blue skies, the budding of the flowers, seeing the first robin plucking his work from the earth that is beginning to unfold with so much life and beauty!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> Even though grief will always be a part of our lives, there comes a time when we can move it from a place of everyday top priority, to a place of subdued recognition. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Spring comes once a year, and it’s full of hope. Give yourself permission to enjoy the beauty of this coming season this year!</span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></i></div>
</h4>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-90994662761648720052014-02-20T00:01:00.000-07:002014-02-23T15:25:50.606-07:00I'm There Inside Your Heart<h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">~ author Unknown</span></h1>
<h1 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’M THERE INSIDE YOUR HEART<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<h1 style="text-align: center;">
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">Right now I’m in a different place,</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And though we seem apart,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’m closer than I ever was….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’m there inside your heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’m with you when you greet each day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And while the sun shines bright,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’m there to share the sunsets, too…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’m with you every night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’m with you when the times are good,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">To share a laugh or two,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And if a tear should start to fall…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’ll still be there for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><br />
And when that day arrives<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">That we no longer are apart,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I’ll smile and hold you close to me…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Forever in my heart.</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</h1>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-48416931759784417942014-02-10T00:01:00.000-07:002014-02-11T22:01:19.465-07:00Introducing "Open Arms for Empty Hearts" in Lake Havasu City, AZ - Please Join Us<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">We are pleased to introduce
"<b>Open Arms for Empty Hearts</b>". As many of you know,
Joyce Floyd gave the Lake Havasu City, AZ community and Mom's years of her
help and support and we could never fill those shoes, so thank you Joyce for
all your dedication and support. As Joyce moves on to other endeavors,
our goal is to take up the gauntlet and continue with the idea of Mom's helping
Mom's. </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">We are so pleased to
announce that as of this<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b>Thursday,
February 13th,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>we will begin
meeting on the 2nd & 4th Thursday mornings of each month at the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b>Lake Havasu City Aquatic Center
from 10am-12N</b>. Our meetings will be open to all Mom's, new and old
that wish to participate in celebrating their child's life and memories.
As you all know, the loss of a child is probably the most painful loss one can suffer.
Only those who have experienced that loss can offer their support and comfort
to others. This will be an open forum, members taking turns hosting the
meetings...bringing their own experiences and knowledge to others..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">We are also pleased to
introduce our Facebook page "<b>Open Arms for Empty Hearts</b>" and
would encourage all moms to go to the site and feel free to post any comments,
suggestions or ideas - again our Facebook page is another work in
progress... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">We are all looking forward
to seeing all of you again and welcoming new members. Beginning this
week, registrations forms will be available so that we have up-to-date contact
information and we hope you will pass the word, and reach out to moms who may
have attended in the past and make sure they have our new meeting
information. </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">If you have any questions
or suggestions you can also contact us at "<b>openarmsforemptyhearts@gmail.com</b>"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Charlyne, Debbie, Janet
& SharonEmpty</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-55455869617230956702014-02-08T00:01:00.000-07:002014-02-08T00:01:00.160-07:00Struggling in the Valley<div class="MsoBodyText">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I remember very well the day that our founder, Joyce Floyd, gave this to me early in 2010 .. I was really struggling with my son Bobby's death a few months before and truly wondering if I'd make it through this "process:"... up one day for a few hours and then CRASH with a pain that was all consuming!!!! I'd traveled this road before in the early 70's when in 71 our daughter Randee Marie had died and then again the following year when our daughter Robin passed away.. But this time was worse, or so it seemed... Grief is a mess and I'd forgottenhow long the roller coaster would last... but eventually the horrible pain does soften and peaceand joy will return to your life...I promise... Cherie Houston</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Frankly, grief
is a MESS! It’s like a never ending
horrible nightmarish roller coaster ride, filled with horrifying twists and
turns, steep drops and sheer cliffs. It
hurts so much that it leaves us gasping for breath and wishing for the comfort
of a coma. We wish we had died, but
suffer the realization that we didn’t.
And that’s the trouble! We didn’t
die…we’re stuck in this living nightmare and we can’t see any escape
route. IT is a journey we never asked
for and don’t want to explore. Yet, we
struggle in the VALLEY, hoping and praying for relief, only to discover that
even our prayers seem to go unanswered.
It is a lonely and desperate time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It seems
endless and we grow weary of the storms and winds of grief. Yet, the OTHER SIDE OF GRIEF sounds just as
scary. So many people have told us what
we SHOULD and OUGHT to do in order to achieve recovery that it all seems to
blur into emptiness. They talk about
‘closure’ and we don’t even know what that means! Does that mean you have to forever ‘close’
the story of your loved one’s life? Or
does it mean you should never again grieve?
Or maybe, it means you should not talk about your loved one
anymore. What does ‘closure’ mean and
what does recovery mean?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">NO ONE
UNDERSTANDS although many think they do.
It is easy to grow tired of breathing and of coping creatively with the
thousands of footsteps that have to be taken.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You have
discovered that Death is an injury…..a severe and devastating psychological wound
that causes great pain and trauma in the early weeks and months and years. Yet, eventually, and over a great period of
time, that injury does heal and you must then learn to live with the scar that
is left.</span><span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-17683174335964959182014-02-01T00:01:00.000-07:002014-02-07T08:28:53.378-07:00February - It's Time for Love<div class="MsoTitle">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><i>~ Written by Rosalie Baker, Rochester, NY</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">February has fewer days than most months, and
that may be of a special significance to us, as our children had fewer days
than most.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">When we think of this month,
the most outstanding day perhaps is Valentine’s Day.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">It is a time for love.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">When we were school-aged, we had a special
chance to give and receive cards in those decorated boxes in our primary
classrooms.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">Perhaps it is the one
holiday that children can really do something for everyone.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">Addressing a card to each and every classmate
made you think of how you felt about each one and wonder about how they felt
about you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Love is found in every day of every year, but
February and Valentine’s Day are very special.
I wish I could remember just how it felt to get a “nicer” Valentine from
someone I had sent a “nicer” one to. It
is so long ago, and there have been so many much more significant happenings in
my life. But sometimes, I’d like to remember
just how it felt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">I am sending along this Valentine’s Love Note
to you right now and hope that you know it is one of the “nicer” ones, because
you are very special to me.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">Somehow I
don’t wonder how you feel, somehow I know.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">As we grieve the loss of our children and one another’s we begin to find
a different kind of love than we ever expected to experience.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-8003477337912724292014-01-20T00:01:00.000-07:002014-01-20T07:31:23.111-07:00It Happened Again<div class="MsoTitle">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Special thanks to Holly Polakoff from New Jersey for sending this - she commented that when she falls back into that very uncomfortable "dark place" that feels as though she's drowning in her grief, she pulls out this article and reads it again and again to remind herself that she is going to get through it. She knows she has to, when her son Burke died suddenly due to a tragic accident at the age of 11, she had 3 younger children who desperately needed her. But there were times she said, that even her love for her 3 little ones, didn't seem as though it would be enough to help her go on (but of course it was).. "It Happened Again" was written by Sandy Goodman</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s happening again. Right outside my front door, under an inch of
leftover snow a daffodil is pushing its way up into the sunlight. The bare places in my lawn are thawed and messy,
and the steady drip from the roof lulls us to sleep. Yesterday I strolled the
thirty feet to my mailbox without a jacket.
Spring has reappeared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Spring is a time for optimism. Suddenly living seems easier, happier, and
less stressful. Depression lifts and a
feeling of hope fills the air. We shed
our winter blues and replace our frowns and cantankerous attitudes with smiles
and loving kindness. We visit with our
neighbors over fences, clean up the barbecues, and start leafing through seed
catalogues. Life is good….but not invariably
and not for everyone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I remember a spring that bore no
resemblance to what I’ve just described.
It was the spring of ’97 and it was the first spring after my son’s
death. By the time the first warm day
arrived that year, the numbness of Jason’s death had disappeared and I had
entered what I call the “pit of grief.”
Simply typing this paragraph takes me back in time and once again, I am
there…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 150%;">.....and
it is cold and dark. I am alone, curled
up in a corner of this make believe place where<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">.....only my pain exists. The sorrow is my only link to him, my only
awareness, the only thing that </span></span></i></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">.....matters. If I allow myself to move away from it, I may
lose him again. I cannot do that. I</span></span></i></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">.....cannot take that chance. And so I hold it, cradle the pain in my arms,
shielding it from those<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">.....who want to take it from me, and I
weep……<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">However, spring arrives without
invitations and it calls on everyone. It
skips in like a long awaited guest and expects to be welcomed with open
arms. I recall what seemed like the entire
world growing jovial and lighthearted, which merely pushes me to tunnel further
in my corner and the sanctuary of my grief.
I longed for the reappearance of winter because it had kept the “ones
who do not know” away from the door. I
remember feeling betrayed. How could the
earth suddenly wake up and come alive when my son had no opportunity to do so?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s happening again. Spring is once again knocking on our
doors. Each of you know, love, or can
befriend someone who is precisely where I was (ten) years ago.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The winter has been long and hard; you
are ready for a new beginning. I
understand. I share your
anticipation. (Ten) years ago is not now. My corner of the pit had been occupied by
many since my stay there, and I have no intention of revisiting it. But there are many who have just descended
and they are burrowing in, seeking solitude.
Although I firmly believe that being there is a necessary task in
getting to the other side of grief, I also believe that we must come out
occasionally for fresh air and sunshine.
It is up to you, and to me, to go into this world and reach out for her
hand. Once she’s taken hold, her chance
of successfully climbing out is greatly increased. So go on, go buy those doughnuts…..someone is
waiting just for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoTitle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sandy Goodman is the
author of “ Love Never Dies: A Mother’s Journey from Loss to Love”</span><span style="font-family: Arial Narrow, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-50591484249052983242014-01-13T00:01:00.000-07:002014-01-20T07:14:39.328-07:00Grief Changes<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
(author unknown)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> Grief is a
process and nothing stays the same. Even
if you feel you have remained ‘stuck’ in the same hurting place, you have moved
in the Valley. You are continually
making progress even when you slip backwards or sideways for a time. It becomes the GRIEF SHUFFLE…..1 step up, 2
steps back, 2 steps sideways, we all fall down.
The hard part is that the music keeps changing ALL THE TIME!!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> You may have stumbled around in the dark
for a long time. But as you learned the
steps you may have found others dancing around the same stones. And you discover you are NOT alone. Although you may have experienced the loss of
some of your closest friends, you begin to meet others, staggering through the
same pain. The journey doesn’t get much
easier, but it does become less lonely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> And grief changes…..as we change.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-68328021620511790332014-01-06T00:01:00.000-07:002014-01-06T00:01:00.686-07:00Am I going crazy?<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Susan Schneider from boulder, CO sent this to me lat year, but I believe we've shared this before.. This is a question I think almost all of our who have lost a child ask ourselves from time to time and although we may know we are not, the fear is certainly overwhelming at times - even years after the death when we should be totally okay (or at least that's what others around us think), so i thought it might help if we share it again... No we aren't going crazy, we are simply devastated by our unimaginable loss... May you find peace in the days and months ahead - Cherie Houston</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 19.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; text-transform: uppercase;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 19.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; text-transform: uppercase;">Am I Going Crazy?</span><span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By Russell Friedman and John W. James @ legacy.com “Grief
Recovery Handbook”<br />
<br /> response to the death of someone important to
them is a sense of numbness. After that initial numbness wears off, the most
common physiological reaction is a reduced ability to concentrate. The rest of
the world goes out of focus. Nothing else is important.<br />
<br />
It is normal and natural that your entire being is centered on what happened
and your relationship with the person who died. The length of time that the
reduced ability to concentrate lasts is individual and can vary from a few days
to several months, and even longer. It is not a sign that there’s something
wrong with you. The fact that the emotional impact of the death of that person
has altered your day-to-day routines is very healthy. It would make no sense
for you to not be affected by the death.<br />
<br />
It is normal to drift out of focus in response to conscious or unconscious
memories of the person who died. Please be gentle with yourself in allowing
that your focus is not on the actions of life, but on your reactions to a
death.<br />
<br />
If you’re at work, you can take little “grief breaks” as needed. It’s a good
idea to establish a safe person at work who you can talk to when and if you get
overwhelmed. It’s also smart to have a phone pal you can call when the emotions
keep you from concentrating. The breaks and chats will make you able to do the
work you need to do.<br />
<br />
Please keep in mind that it’s important to focus while driving a car. It’s not
safe to drive with tears in your eyes. If need be, pull over. Allow yourself to
have whatever emotions come up, and maybe call someone and talk for a while
before you get back on the road.<br />
<br />
<b>When Your Heart Is Broken, Your Head Doesn’t Work Right</b><br />
<br />
Along with not being able to concentrate, your thinking ability and judgment
may be limited. That’s why grieving people are advised to be careful about
making major life decisions in the aftermath of the death of someone important
to them. To put it in simple terms, when your heart is broken, your head
doesn’t work right. You must take care either not to make big decisions until
you regain your ability to focus, or you must make sure you have people you
trust to help you understand your choices and the consequences of what you
decide.<br />
<br />
There are other common physiological reactions to grief. Sleeping habits are
often disrupted for an extended period of time. You may find yourself unable to
sleep, or you may not be able to get out of bed. You can even go back and forth
between those extremes. Eating patterns are also subject to confusion. You may
not be able to eat at all, or you may not be able to stop. You can also
ping-pong between those extremes. Sleeping and eating disruptions aren’t as
common as the reduced ability to concentrate, but they can be really
uncomfortable. If they happen, it also doesn’t mean you’re going crazy. It just
means that your routines and habits are out of synch.<br />
<br />
Another common grief reaction is best described as a roller coaster of emotions.
It can be a wild ride, with tremendous emotional shifts. But, like
concentration and the eating and sleeping issues, that roller coaster is one of
the typical responses to the death of someone important to you. Don’t fight it,
just go along for the ride, no matter how bumpy it might be. When it happens,
it’s a good idea to call a friend, and talk about what you’re feeling. Talking
about what you’re experiencing helps make sure you don’t trap your feelings
inside.<br />
<br />
<b>Normal and Natural — Not Crazy</b><br />
<br />
The reduced ability to concentrate; the disruption of sleeping and eating
patterns; and the roller coaster of emotions are all normal and natural
reactions to death. There is nothing crazy about them or you.<br />
<br />
Those reactions usually diminish within time as you adapt to life without the
person who died. But time doesn’t heal emotional wounds, nor does it complete
anything that may have been left emotionally unfinished when the person died.
Sometimes it’s just the feeling of wanting to have said one more “I love you
and goodbye.” Sometimes it is a more complex set of communications that would
include apologies, forgiveness, and significant emotional statements.<br />
<br />
It is always helpful to discover and complete anything that was left
unfinished. Doing so will allow you to have fond memories not turn painful. It
will also help you remember your person the way you knew them in life. And it
will help you continue a life of meaning and value, even though it is altered
by the absence of he person who died.<br />
<br />
Above all, allow yourself to be out of rhythm. As we said, be careful when
you’re driving and be cautious when making major decisions. Be gentle with
yourself as you make your re-entry back into the flow of your life. But don’t
judge yourself harshly because you are having any or all of the reactions we
mentioned.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-3913100683381831172014-01-01T00:01:00.000-07:002014-01-03T08:32:50.657-07:00New years resolutions for grieving parents are different<div class="default" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 4.5pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">A New Year is here, like it or
not and some say it’s a time for resolutions. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>For those of us who are grieving the
death of our child, resolutions can be different from those of our friends and
families. <span class="apple-converted-space"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="default" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 4.5pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="default" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 4.5pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">We hope these resolutions might
help you to find peace and joy throughout the new year ahead…</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="default" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 4.5pt;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
try not to imagine the future and take one day at a time.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
allow myself to cry, both alone and with my loved ones.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
not shut out family and friends from my thoughts and feelings.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
take care of my health. A sick body will only compound my troubles.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
drink a lot of water, take multivitamins, rest (even if I don’t sleep) and
exercise moderately. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will help heal my body as well as my mind.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
keep a journal to see my progress through grief.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will be
patient with myself</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
learn to accept that the journey through grief does not meet a specific
timetable</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
share my feelings with friends and let them share with me. I realize I am
coming out of my shell when I care about the pain of others.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
try not to expect so much understanding from those who have not walked the same
path.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
learn to accept the help and kindness of others.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will be
kind to myself, and appreciate my health, appearance, and time alone.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I will
try to be more considerate of my spouse, children</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> and parents. They, too, are
coping and deserve my help.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">In memory
of my child, I will do something to help someone else. This way, my child can
live on through me.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I will
remember that I owe it to myself to enjoy life.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="Default" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
</div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-47268661162838712122013-12-03T00:01:00.000-07:002013-12-03T18:32:10.928-07:00Holiday Lights <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i>I wish I could remember how and when I received this, but I don't.. But I hope you will find the message helpful as we muddle our way through what can be a very difficult month - December when we celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas.. so I want to thank the authors and hope that they won't mind my sharing it with you... as together we find our own way to find peace amongst our memories this month...Cherie Houston</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Holiday Lights</span></b>, written by Bettye and Sam Rosenberg, TCF, Louisville, KY</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
During the holiday season, both Christians and Jews
light candles in celebration of their
respective faiths, and as they do so, even the darkest of rooms become warm and
bright from the glow of the candle. Then, we can ask ourselves how powerful and
sinister can the darkness be if it can be overcome by the light of one little
candle?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
There is then a message in
this for all of us. When the darkness seems to overwhelm us, and it can be a
mental and spiritual darkness as well as the darkness of winter night, we need
to be reminded that it is powerless to withstand the smallest bit of illumination.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
So, as the world grows
colder and darker during these winter months, we as Compassionate Friends must
do what people of many faiths have been taught to do at this season. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Light a candle in someone’s life to make the darkness and fears flee. A
little bit of light is all that most of us need, but, oh, we need that little
bit so badly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
So, let us all extend a candle of light and
hope not only to each other, but to the unfortunate people who, for whatever
reason, become one of us this winter and will be in need of that light. It’s
the least we can do and it accomplishes so much.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><i>TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE IT.</i></b></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-78226617167737628122013-11-28T00:01:00.000-07:002013-11-28T00:01:00.833-07:00Thanksgiving Prayer<div class="MsoNormal">
<em>On this Thanksgiving Day, I just want to take a moment to wish you and yours a peace filled Thanksgiving holiday. I believe that our children are smiling down on each of us, thankful and proud that we are their moms, and that we continue to carry them with us into the future - yes, they are our children and always will be and for that I feel blessed and thankful..Cherie Houston</em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em>Lovingly shared from TCF - Written by Charlotte Irick TCF, Idaho Falls, ID</em></div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">I'm
thankful this Thanksgiving</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">That
my grief is not so new.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Last
year it was so painful to</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Think
of losing you.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Death
can't claim my love for you</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Tho we
are far apart,</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Sweet
memories will always be</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Engraved
upon my heart.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Time
can never bring you back</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">But it
can help me be</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Thankful
for the years of joy</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">You
brought our family.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">To all
the parents with grief so new</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">I
share your loss and sorrow</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">I pray
you find with faith and time</span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">The
blessings of each Tomorrow.</span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 18.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-23631763717776822322013-11-24T00:01:00.000-07:002013-11-24T00:01:00.569-07:00Finding reasons for thanks, at Thanksgiving, is difficult<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>For those of you who are experiencing your first or second Thanksgiving later this week without your children or grandchildren, know that during Thanksgiving
dinner when everyone proclaims what they are thankful for, your heart will probably
skip a beat, and tears may well in your eyes and in your heart you might think,
how can I be thankful - my child is dead...
But also know that in time, despite the horrific pain you feel now, there
will come a time when you will be so grateful for every moment you had with
your child or grandchild... even for mom's who never got to hold their babies, in
time even they are grateful..<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><i>There is a blog that I visit often (www.grievingparent.com)
This blog is written by a dad who lost his young 22 year old son Richard on May
25, 2009, just a few months before my own son Bobby died on September 19th 2009.
<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><i>I found the blog within weeks of Bobby's
death and I continue to visit the blog often and still gives me tremendous comfort; probably
because so much of what Joe Mudd writes, is what I am feeling so that helps me
to know I'm not alone, it's OK, I'm normal, I am not going crazy. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><i>Surprising isn't it, that many around us
who fortunately are not part of this "unique group"; seem to believe
that once the first year of grieving is over, then of course; we will be
"better"; we will have "moved on", but those of us who are
part of this "unique group" - we know too well that this "new
normal" is not something we get over, get better from or move beyond; it
is simply a pain that gets a little softer and that we learn to live with.. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><i>Instead I imagine that, like Richard's
dad, most of us are very grateful; thankful that we had our children, no matter
how short their time and yes, this unbearable pain, is worth whatever length of
time we had them... <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><i>This is the post that Richard's dad wrote
in 2009 on his blog about his son.. sentiments I think so many of us share - so
as you prepare for Thanksgiving without your beloved children, it is OK to be
thankful for all that they gave us and for all that we have now.... Cherie
Houston</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><b><i>by Joe Mudd on November 26, 2009</i></b>, Joe is
a dad who writes a blog about his son Richard, who passed away on May 25, 2009
- Joe's blog, which has truly become a favorite of mine is: " www.grievingparent.com;
Stop by and visit sometime...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">It’s Thanksgiving Day 2009 here in the
USA. Time to give thanks to our maker for all the good things he has given us.
It has also been six months since our son Richard, who was only 22, died on May
25th of this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">So you probably think we won’t find
anything to be thankful for. After all it’s hard to be thankful for grief, pain
and a huge part of our life missing. It takes more work to find it, but yes,
there is much to be thankful for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">I’m grateful for my great family and
friends. All the love and support they’ve given us has been pulling us through
this process. It still hurts, but I can’t image what it would be like without
them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">I’m grateful to have my beautiful
daughter and the grand-dog home with us for this holiday. She’s a very special
young lady.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">I give thanks everyday for the wonderful
memories. They make us realize how much we’ve lost, but they remind us of what
we had. And it was special.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">And this one may make you think I’ve gone
completely off the deep end. I’m thankful this hurts so very much. No, I don’t
enjoy the pain. It’s nearly unbearable. But this pain is so intense because we
had so much love and fun with Richard. He was a treat. We had a special
relationship his whole life. I wouldn’t change much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Of course there are some things I’d like
to have been able to do. Richard did shot put and discus in high school.
Because I work second shift I wasn’t able to be at all those week night
contests. I would love to have been there for everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">And I missed most of his weekend camping
trips with his Scout Troop because I had to work most weekends. But those
weekend work days made it possible to send him to a great high school. He loved
St X, and the teachers and programs helped make Richard into the fine young man
he became. So I owe them my gratitude too. And his Scout Leaders led him to
Eagle Scout. More to be thankful for. But we still had a lot of fun together.
He never became the surly disrespectful person so many teens turn into.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">I’m grateful we had our kids. They taught
me what love is all about. They made me a totally different – and much improved
– person than what I was so many years ago. And Richard was a huge part of
that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">So yes, finding reasons for thanks is a
hard thing. It takes work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">About a year before Richard’s death, an
employee of one of our on-site vendors lost his entire family in an auto
accident. His wife and three kids gone. My friend Kathy, who hasn’t had
children yet, asked me, “If you knew you would lose them early like that, would
it be worth so much pain? Would you still want to have them?” I told her I
thought I would, but because I’d never had to face that kind of pain and
couldn’t really imagine what it must be like, I didn’t know for sure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="headlinemeta" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">I now live that pain. I know the answer.
Yes I’d gladly have him again. He was
worth it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-50290229794564388942013-11-18T00:01:00.000-07:002013-11-23T08:42:41.210-07:00A Forgiving & Peace Filled Thanksgiving<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>For the last few months I've been trying to think of
what I would say about Thanksgiving this year. Yes, Thanksgiving is next week
and as each us prepares for the holidays without our beloved child or children,
for some it will be our first Thanksgiving and for others it will be our
second, fifth or thirtieth - the number of years doesn't matter.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><i>Yes there is no doubt, the holidays are difficult,
but remember, the anticipation is usually more difficult than the day itself..
For our family, it will be our fifth Thanksgiving and Christmas Holiday season
without our 36 year old son Bobby and more than 40 years for both of my
daughters, Randee Marie & Robin Marie who died in 1971 & 1972.. No matter how much time has passed since
their deaths, the ache remains, a all of the “if only’s” resurface, but what has changed over time, is
that I find myself smiling a bit more than crying when the memories flood
back!!!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;"><i>I originally shared this article with all of you
back in November 2010, the 2<sup>nd</sup> holiday after Bobby died… It was written in 2006 by a dad who is a
member of the Bereaved Parents group in Northern Texas, I thought it's perfect
to help me and maybe others who might not understand why others around us can't
feel our pain. I hope it helps you, as it has me, to gain some insight about
forgiving those around us who may not understand our heartbreak and sadness and
may they never know this hurt. So as we all we all prepare for this holiday
season, forgive those who don’t understand and may we all find peace as we
remember and offer thanks for our beloved children and all the joy they gave
us..Cherie Houston</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">~ Written by Jim Hobbs, BP/USA of Northern Texas
from “Where Are All The Butterflies”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">Thanksgiving was always an easy holiday. Unlike
Christmas, there was no pressure of giving just the right gift! Thanksgiving
Day brought family gatherings and good food. Late on those afternoons, we would
return home full from over-eating and satisfied that our family relationships
were intact. It was also a day that reminded us of everything for which we were
thankful. We are supposed to be thankful for our health, our families, our
comfortable life, etc. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The death of a child changes our perceptions,
however. When the family now gathers around the Thanksgiving table, I now see a
missing plate that no one else sees. When our nieces and nephews are laughing
or crying, I hear a voice that no one else hears. When a family member recounts
a story about something his or her child did last week, I wish for a story to
tell. (Of course, when I say no one else, I exclude my wife and daughter. I’m
sure that they see, hear and wish what I do, although probably at different
times. We still have much to be thankful for, we bereaved parents, and we
should remember that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">But now Thanksgiving Day has an additional
observance for us too, doesn’t it? It is a day of forgiveness also. We must
forgive others who cannot and do not acknowledge our missing child, for
whatever reasons. If family and friends cannot understand us, then we must
exhibit tolerance, forgiveness and understanding. On a day on which we offer
thanks, we can and will climb another step on our ladder to recovery. I hope
you have a forgiving Thanksgiving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-80573637046082107272013-11-11T00:01:00.000-07:002013-11-11T00:01:00.339-07:00Remember the moms of Veteran's today<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">On
this special day, November 11<sup>th</sup>, intended to honor our veterans, I
wanted to find just the right words of thanks for those of our moms who raised
beautiful children, children who choose to defend our freedom and gave the
ultimate sacrifice –their lives… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The
moment those children (adults, men & women, some young, some not so young,
but to a mom no matter what their age they are always our children); made the
commitment to join the armed forces, their lives and their families lives
changed forever. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Some,
sadly, were not meant to come home alive.
The how’s of why they died while in the armed forces isn’t important ~ they
were soldiers and died as soldier; they were a parent’s child and died a
parent’s child that is all that matters.
For their sacrifice to agree to serve our country and protect our
freedom, we are and will always be eternally grateful. We assure them and their parents, that they
will not be forgotten – sleep peacefully our beloved soldier children and know
we will be forever grateful that you were here and for all that you did ..Cherie
Houston<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><b><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I couldn’t find just the right words, but thought this
note written this year on “Independence Day” speaks volumes to our soldier
children’s memories…<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><b><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">~ July 4, 2010 ~ Eileen Marie Hines: To All Our
Soldiers and their families<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
</span></i></b><span class="text"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I am very humbled and grateful to be able to speak out concerning so many
of </span></i></span><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br />
<span class="text">our children that have died for us and their country. I know
many people who's </span><br />
<span class="text">names would never fit in a large book, through my life, that
spoke of soldier's, </span><br />
<span class="text">men and women alike that were just your average next door
neighbor that loved </span><br />
<span class="text">and believed we live in the best country in the world! <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">My husband and I have raised
our children to respect, and honor those that are serving in any capacity for
freedom and helping other folk less fortunate than our people are here in the
United States. <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">There is something mentioned
somewhere that when one human being suffers, we are all touched by their
suffering. This applies as well to our fallen comrades. We are so very, very, proud
of them and their families for having given the ultimate sacrifice. We also
know that it was not in vain. What we don't understand now, will become clear
to us later. <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The Commander-in-Chief,
(GOD) has them safely with HIM for the present. We will get to see them later.
I'm sure the medals HE will be passing out are far more wonderful. I know
several, personally that have passed on to HIM. I miss them, but they made a
difference for a lot of folk. Thank you- You will never be forgotten, just like
those that are serving our country now will not be forgotten. Sincerely, Eileen
Hines</span></i></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2831877128112213081.post-15800014266716026212013-11-08T00:01:00.000-07:002013-11-08T00:01:02.595-07:00"Common Sense" - Grief rules<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“COMMON SENSE” GRIEF RULES<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
her work as a Bereavement Counselor for funeral homes, Margaret Gerner of St.
Louis MO contacted family members who
had lost loved ones approximately eight weeks after their deaths. The largest percentage of them were what she
called “I’m Fine” calls. Surviving
family members say they’re ‘fine.’ In
truth, many of them are, but more of them are not!! She says she hears comments such as:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “I’m keeping busy so I don’t have to think
about it” or “I hurt at first, but I just have to give it time.” Or “I try not to cry in front of my
family. It upsets them so much.” Very few people will admit that they are hurting.
Unfortunately, this denial of grief is all too common in our society. Actually, we have unwritten rules about
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
Rules ARE:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Bury your feelings</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Replace the loss</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Grieve alone</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Give it time</span></li>
</ul>
<!--[if !supportLists]--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Did
you pick up any of these rules in the above comments? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
live in a fast paced society that does not allow the deep, searing emotions
that occur at the death of a special loved one, especially at the death of a
child. It’s not comfortable to listen to
another talk about his or her child, or cry, or show pictures of them. We are asked to ‘get on with life.” …………..
Thus “The Rules” !!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
a bereaved parent, we pay a high price for those rules…….We pay the price for
swallowing our emotions in illness and chronic depression that can plague us
many years after our child dies. We pay
the price in a prolonged sense of isolation because we can not share our pain
with another. We pay the price in
self-blame when that magic year mark comes and we aren’t “over it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
never stop and ask ourselves who said we have to keep busy, that crying is
weakness, that talking about our deceased child is morbid, that we must think
only of the ‘good’ memories, or that time heals all wounds. We just take what society dictates as
‘truth’. “THEY” ARE NOT
~ Society IS NOT !!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ignore
these Rules!!! Let yourselves grieve in
healthy ways.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Do not bury your feelings. Let them out.
Get angry when you need to!!!!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Cry when you are hurting….Talk out your
guilt!!! Don’t try to replace the
uniqueness of your child. You CAN NOT!!! </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Don’t grieve alone. Find people who will listen non-judgmentally
to your story told over and over again. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Let GO of the
mistaken idea that time heals!! Time, in
and of itself heals nothing. It isn’t
time that heals: it’s the grief work that you do while the clock ticks away that
heals…..</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Look
at what you are being told about grief.
Question who “THEY are and What “THEY”
know about grief. Don’t listen to
those who tell you not to grieve. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Would
you consult your neighbor on financial matters if he were a mechanic? Would you ask an attorney about your stomach
problems? Of course you would NOT. So why listen to those who tell you how to
grieve when they have absolutely NO knowledge of how to grieve or how to
recover.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
loss of a beloved child creates a big change in your life. Do NOT leave healthy recovery and positive
personal growth to “Common Sense” rules.
Keep in mind that while the Rules may be “Common”………..they don’t always make….”Sense.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Cherie A Houstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14733081192574826635noreply@blogger.com0