February – A month depicted by hearts

~ by Cherie Houston

We see and hear reminders everywhere, that February is a month depicted by hearts – Hearts for Valentines Day, Hears for the National Heart Association, but doesn’t anyone realize my child has died – if they do, why then isn’t there any mention of the broken hearts…

Yes, during this month of February (as though we forget during any other month) but during this month, as we grieve for our child or children who have died, try to take a little time to be gentle with yourself, to tend to your broken heart.. and while you are doing this – just remember… .
• Grief must be selfish in order to survive. Put yourself first!
• You have to learn to take care of yourself, baby steps at first is just fine, but unless you take care of yourself, you won't be much good to those who love and need you…those who are still alive…
• No matter what you or others might think – You are absolutely not going insane, you are not crazy, you are grieving the loss of your child.
• The death of child might cause you to doubt or lose your faith, and that's also normal and God totally understands and when you are ready, he'll welcome you back with open arms, jut like any loving father....
• It is scientifically proven that the loss of a child is similar to a major physical injury, it’s just that our injuries – our mental & spiritual wounds aren’t evident..
• Do what’s right for you – and if that means taking time off work – than so be it, and for some moms, it’s necessary to get back to work as soon as possible – again there is no right or wrong, you simply have to do what’s best for you – and remember, you can change your mind at any time…
• Getting sleep is very important – it helps us to heal and to have the strength we need to make this journey..
• Remember to eat something every day – even several small meals or snacks are beneficial – especially protein for energy and staying hydrated by drinking plenty of fluids.
• Avoid alcohol and illegal drug use, as these are downers and will increase your depression severely.
• No matter what you might be told, there is no right or wrong way to grieve - how we grieve is unique to each of us - only you can now what's right for you...
• Know that it is ok to take time off from grieving, to smile, laugh and enjoy life. This does not mean you are forgetting your child-that's impossible.
• It’s alright to cry – remember tears are never a sign of weakness, tears and our broken heart are the price we pay for loving someone the way we loved our child…