~ By Pat Schwiebert, TCF, Portland, Oregon
In the end, time will chage things. The intensity we experience when grief is new, where we can see nothing but our loss, and where every moment is filled with thoughts of the onew who died will gradually diminish and become softer.
Time forces the big picture of life back into our vision whether we like it or not. This happens in our lives all the time. Remember how when we first fell in love withsomeone, we were totally preoccupied with only that other person, until gradually a more balanced existence was restored. Or when we did what we thought was some terrible thing, and we were sure everybody would never let us forget it, we came to find out a few months down the road that most people had forgotten the incident.
In the months (maybe years) following a loss, life will eventually start to re-emerge, and life on this planet will once again seem possible. This will not happen because we come to understand the deathmore clearly but because, with the passage of time, the unanswered questions will become easier to live with.
Time will not remove grief entirely. The scars of grief will remain, and we may find ourselves ambushed by a fresh wave of grief at any time. But needing to know the answers to the “why” questions won’t seem quite as important as it once was.
Time is a gift that we have taken for granted. We’ve been given our lives one moment at a time. This is good.
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