The new year is here...

Yes, like it or now a new year is here - it has begun…

No matter how hard we wish it were different, 2012 is a year that our child or children who have died much too soon, will not be part of, or will they?

I can vividly remember that week prior to New Years Eve 2009 turning into 2010, just months after our son Bobby died. The holidays had been a blur and I had this horrible dread of the new year arriving and not sure why. So many people said to me and to us, "guess you’ll be so glad when this year is over” and then I realized what I was dreading - this New Year would be a year in which Bobby would never live. But at the same time, I simply smiled, because I know immediately they'd been been fortunate enough not to have been touched by the death of someone they love, especially the death of a child, their child.. For if they had, they wouldn't have made that comment..

Unless you’ve walked in the shoes of a grieving parent, it’s hard to imagine the sadness that the ending of each year brings; almost reminiscent of a funeral, another good-bye that we can’t stand to say..

Yes 2012 will and should be a time of new beginnings, but for those of us who are grieving a child, our children will not be here to share in this wonderful new year ~ or will they…

I believe they can and will be part of it.. Yes it’s up to us, the ones who love them, to speak their names, with smiles as we remember the joys they brought to our lives, whether their stay with us was for the few precious months that we carried them already planning their futures before they took their first breath; maybe you were blessed with a few hours or days after they were born – and maybe you were blessed to have many more years be that 5 years, 9 years, 18 years, 36 years, 55 years – the amount of time really doesn't matter…

So instead of looking back, I hope that we can each find the strength to look forward – to see our child in the sunshine, in the ocean, in the clouds and rain drops and flakes of snow, and in the faces of everyone they touched – some of us are fortunate enough to have young faces smiling back at us that are a result of their short time with us – proudest accomplishments of their love for someone else – what a wonderful gift they’ve given us…

May you find peace and joy in the memories of your child or children who are gone too soon and know that you are not alone in your journey through grief.. reach out and allow another mom, who has walked this road before, help you along your journey…