Thursday, January 7, 2010

AM I GOING CRAZY - Part 1 of 3

During our grief journey, there are times when we wonder if we are "going crazy" - About 6 weeks after our son Bobby died this past September 19th, 2009, when I was convinced that not only was I going crazy but that I wouldn't survive the loss, I  happened on this article which I want to share with you - it has become a favorite during those times when the pain seems overwhelming -  I know it's so important that we remember that we're "not going crazy" we are simply on a journey, a journey from mourning to joy..Cherie Houston

AM I GOING CRAZY? Part 1 of 3
By Russell Friedman and John W. James @ “Grief Recovery Handbook”

For most people, the immediate response to the death of someone important to them is a sense of numbness. After that initial numbness wears off, the most common physiological reaction is a reduced ability to concentrate. The rest of the world goes out of focus. Nothing else is important.

It is normal and natural that your entire being is centered on what happened and your relationship with the person who died. The length of time that the reduced ability to concentrate lasts is individual and can vary from a few days to several months, and even longer. It is not a sign that there’s something wrong with you. The fact that the emotional impact of the death of that person has altered your day-to-day routines is very healthy. It would make no sense for you to not be affected by the death.

It is normal to drift out of focus in response to conscious or unconscious memories of the person who died. Please be gentle with yourself in allowing that your focus is not on the actions of life, but on your reactions to a death.

If you’re at work, you can take little “grief breaks” as needed. It’s a good idea to establish a safe person at work who you can talk to when and if you get overwhelmed. It’s also smart to have a phone pal you can call when the emotions keep you from concentrating. The breaks and chats will make you able to do the work you need to do.

Please keep in mind that it’s important to focus while driving a car. It’s not safe to drive with tears in your eyes. If need be, pull over. Allow yourself to have whatever emotions come up, and maybe call someone and talk for a while before you get back on the road.

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