"It is Better to Have Loved and Lost Than......"

“It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” This quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27 written in 1850 is something most of us  have heard and no doubt we would agree with them.  And most of us agree that love is never broken – not even by death. It's sad then that some people feel that if they are happy – if they laugh or smile – after a loss of someone they loved, that they are somehow betraying their loved one.  Instead - believe that the best way to honor someone, especially those we love, is to live a good life – to laugh & smile, to love, and to do whatever possible to make the world a better place.

No doubt we will have difficult days, and of course we all wish that things could have been different? And yes we all agree that life isn’t fair, but isn't it still a wonderful life?  After all, how blessed were we to have this child in our lives ~ from the moment we knew we were expecting ~ he or she was our child, no matter how short the time ~ of yes, we were so lucky and so blessed.  Now, we all must do our best to move thru the pain so that we will not stay stuck in it. Tomorrow will always be better and we must remember that we can't deny our feelings for if we do, they may subside for a time, but they will return with a vengeance at some other time.

The pain and heartbreak we feel with the loss of our child is inevitable and often overwhelming, but suffering is optional – it’s a choice we make.. As we continue on this journey and move thru and out of the darkness, we can see the light of joy and happiness and learn to smile often and enjoy life. No doubt, if we had the chance to speak to our children and ask for their advice, they would tell us for sure that they are happier and more at peace than they’ve ever been before. I would also trust that they would encourage us to be happy ~ to enjoy our precious time here and to try not to waste time suffering in sorrow… Our greatest gift to our children and to ourselves is to find peace and happiness and to live a good life.