Halloween - A time of masks

Halloween is here again. For many of us the memories of long ago trick or treat adventures, and for some the pain of the “trick or treat adventures that never happened, often bring us to tears… And for others it is the fear of the holidays ahead.. now it begins....

But in addition to those fears and memories, or lack of memories, it also reminds me that Halloween is a time of masks. Yes, for many of us, when we are overwhelmed with grief and fear from losing our child, those first few months and sometimes for years, force us to don masks – sometimes intentionally, but more often than not, we don’t even realize that we are wearing them…. Yes masks are something that all of us who are grieving know quite well.

Even on our best days, before our lives changed forever by the death of our beloved children, it’s likely that from time to time we wore masks and weren’t aware of how others may have seen us.

But now, when we are working hard to rebuild our shattered worlds without our children, when we are coping with our grief, the masks we wear might cause others to back away from us.

Yes our masks might project soe very scary images to those around us. It might be a mask of total denial, or one that says very loundly that we will fall apart if spoken to or touched, or maybe the mask says, NO! It’s OK I’m just fine and don’t need you or anyone; or one that pleads-please don't speak to me or I'll cry; or maybe it's a masks that tells them to go around us-yes please act as though I’m invisible, or maybe it's a mask that says we just aren't here we are someplace else and we are not “present” at all… Yes the masks we wear can be frightening to those around us.

And because we often are not even aware that we are wearing these masks (which can sometimes change daily or even hourly) we may wonder why others don’t approach us.

Yes, they probably wanted to, they may have intended to hug us or hold our hand or ask us how we were doing or what they could do to help us, but our “mask” projected an image other than the way in which we feel inside… sad, lonely, vulnerable, hurting and heartbroken beyond belief, or maybe we hoped they know that we were just struggling to adjust, to adjust to our new life and future without our beloved child...

Yes, it’s just possible and even probable that when we are grieving, we never realize that others might be seeing us in a totally different way than what we are feeling or think we are projecting…

Despite the mask we are wearing, it helps everyone when we reach out to others first, it allows them to know it’s OK. It gives them permission to know that it’s OK to reach out to us. It tells them that yes we want and need them: to help us, be with us, speak our child’s name and share memories of our children as we continue on our journey from mourning to joy.
Yes - when we reach out to others first, it allows them to know that our mask is temporary. In time our mask fade and with their help it will disappear, and the new us, the person whom they know and love, will shine through again, stronger and more compassionate and loving and proud to share the legacy of our children gone before us...

May you enjoy a peace filled Halloween & Holiday season ahead ~ Cherie Houston

Finding meaning in life

Parents whose children have died say that they never really “get over” the death of a child, but rather learn to live with the loss.

The death of a child can force parents to rethink their priorities and reexamine the meaning of life. It may seem impossible to newly grieving parents, but parents do go on to find happiness and reinvest in life again.

An important step for many parents is to create a legacy for their child and make their child's life, no matter how short, have a more complete purpose. Parents may choose to honor their child by volunteering at a local hospital or a cancer support organization. Parents may work to support interests their child once had, start a memorial fund, or plant trees in their child’s memory. It is important to remember that it is never disloyal to the deceased child to re-engage in life and to find pleasure in new experiences.

Every child changes the lives of his or her parents. Children show us new ways to love, new things to find joy in, and new ways look to at the world.

A part of each child’s legacy is that the changes he or she brings to a family continue after the child's death. The memories of joyful moments you spent with your child and the love you shared will live on and always be a part of you.

From the website: http://www.cancer.net/ - “Grieving the Loss of A Child” June 2009

Mourning A Lost Child - A Psychologist's Grief

~ By Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Mourning a lost child never gets easier, but it might be comforting to know you're not alone in grieving the death of your son or daughter. If you're suffering through death of your child, you might not feel so alone if you gather with other mothers who are also mourning their lost children.

Here is an excerpt from Charlotte Mathes' book, called And a Sword Shall Pierce Your Heart Moving from Despair to Meaning After the Death of a Child.

When a child dies, we lose our commonsense faith in life's predictability. The unanticipated early death cuts through what we have formerly assumed is a natural order of things, shaking the very foundation of our living. When a son or daughter dies, all we believed comes into question and we feel as if we have no standpoint.

There is a saying to the effect that we only understand our lives after we have suffered disappointment: "Life is what happens to you after you make your plans." Once we had ideas about what coming years would bring to our family. After the death of our child, however, we find ourselves thrust into a period where, while there is no foretelling the future, we suddenly have no plans, and our dreams have been shattered.

How different this is from the sadness we feel when an older person dies. If she has lived a full life and dies naturally, we may miss her, reminisce about all she meant to us, and perhaps wish that we had taken more time to appreciate her. We also come to acknowledge that life brings a series of losses, and we may even understand that they are somehow necessary, or at least part of everyone's experience. But the death of our child attacks our understanding of life's rhythm and purpose, leaving us wandering in unmapped territory.

Grieving the Death of Your Son or Daughter - After John Kennedy Junior's plane crash, Lauren Basset's parents and Carolyn Basset Kennedy released the following statement: "Nothing in life prepares you for the death of a child." Though it had been twelve years since my son's death, I wept when I read those words, for they brought me back to when I was unprepared for my struggles with his illness, for his death, and for the challenging grief work required to once more be fully alive.

Today's women mature knowing much about how to deal with expected milestones: sexual experience, marriage, professional life, working motherhood, and even divorce, remarriage, and menopause. That which we don't already know, we feel reasonably confident of learning from abundant resources which are easily available to us.

Consequently, we don't anticipate a life-changing event -- mourning the loss of someone you love -- that puts the core of our being in doubt. Even those who have experienced much tragedy in their lives are unprepared for a child's death. Without self-pity, Ruth first summarizes her many losses before coming to her stark conclusion:

"My life has been full of pain. As a child, I experienced coming from 'the wrong side of the tracks.' My father and mother left me when I was thirteen and I had to find other caregivers. My little sister died when I was eight; my father died when I was twenty-two.

My oldest son had cancer of the bone at age eighteen. My first and only grandson was born with Down's syndrome. He had open heart surgery and was in critical condition for two weeks. My husband had open heart surgery and died two years after Tom committed suicide. None of this has been as devastating as my son Tom's death."

Excerpted from And a Sword Shall Pierce Your Heart: Moving from Despair to Meaning After the Death of a Child by Charlotte M. Mathes, LCSW, Ph.D. Copyright © 2006 Charlotte Mathes. Published by Chiron Publications (September 2005).

An Angel’s Kiss

AN ANGELS KISS
~ Author Unknown

We go through life so often,

Not stopping to enjoy the day.

And we take each one for granted,

As we travel on our way.

For in your pain and sorrow,

An Angel’s kiss will help you through.

This kiss is very private,

For it is meant for only you.

We never stop to measure,

Anything we just might miss.

But if the wind should blow by softly,

You’ll feel an Angel’s Kiss.

A kiss that is sent from heaven,

A kiss from up above.

A kiss that is very special,

From someone that you love.

So when your hearts are heavy,

And filled with tears and pain.,

And no one can console you,

Remember once again…..

About the ones you grieve for,

Because you sadly miss.

And the gentle breeze you took for granted,

Was just an Angel’s kiss.

Some people say....another thought on grief support meetings

If you are a newly bereaved mom, or maybe not so new but can't seem to find a place of peace and maybe you are considering coming to our meetings, which are held each Thursday morning from 10am to 12N,  please do.

Let us help you, the way in which we have been helped.. We can't change what has happened, we can't bring your child back, but we can help you until you are strong enough to help yourself... We are all moms, just like you, each of us coping with the most devastating loss - our child - something no parent should have to experience, but it happens and so we are here....

This time last year, I attended my first meeting of the Mom's Journey from Mourning to Joy Support Group, about 5 weeks after our 36 year old son Bobby took his own life on September 19th.  I teach at Mohave Community College here in Lake Havasu City and I was referred to the classes by several co-workers my first few days back to teaching, but it wasn't until Joyce Floyd called me on Sunday, Oct. 19th-one month after Bobby died, that I decided to go. 

Within moments of arriving, despite the warm welcome I'd received, I wanted to run out of the room and never return - my heart was already broken and I couldn't bear to listen or watch another mom's heartache.  But, by the end of the meeting I had no doubt that this is where I belonged.  I knew in my heart that I needed the help of each and every woman in that room.  It was comforting to know that if they had survived this overwhelming tragedy, then maybe, just maybe, they could help me do the same. 

When I walked into that room for the very first time, I truly believed I wasn't going to survive Bobby's death.  You see Bobby was the 3rd child I had buried - I had lost 2 little girls in the early 70's and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to survive it.  Yet I knew that our other children - Bobby's 2 brothers and my 2 step-sons, our 4 daughter in laws and our 8 beautiful grandchildren, including Bobby's 2 little boys who were only 5 & 6 at the time, could not and should not be put through another loss.

The moms in this wonderful group became my security blankets and the creation of this blog a sort of pacifier - my "binky ".  Yes, the pain is often overwhelming and seems almost unbearable, but I know that I will survive and the major difference from last year is that I want to survive to enjoy our family.  I believe that life is a precious gift and only we can decide what we want to do with it - personally I can't stay in that very painful place, I need to find a way beyond the pain.  In my case, I know that I need to show my children and grandchildren by example, that despite tragedy, life is full of happiness and rainbows, that death no matter how or when it comes, is a sad part of life, but if and when we celebrate Bobby's life, then we will continue to honor his memory, he will always be with us and we should and must live life to the fullest until we join him and the girls again..... remember we are here for you if you want us to be.. Cherie Houston

The following is another perspective on grief support meetings

~~Written by By Margaret Gerner…. Bereaved Mother and Bereaved Grandmother, St. Louis, MO

Some people say…I wouldn’t go to one of those grief meetings. It’s morbid, people sitting around talking about death. How wrong those people are!!!

In so many ways those who attend are saying, “I am hurting now, but I want to go on with my life.” They are saying, “I am crying now, but I want to laugh again.” They are saying, “I am sick in body and soul; help me to get well.” I see these things as healthy, not morbid.

It is not easy to walk into a meeting of any kind alone, especially one where the subject is very emotional, but once there, it takes only a few minutes to find out we are not alone, that there are those who care about us and want to help us. We see others hurting and suddenly we want to help. I don’t see that as morbid.

A grieving Mother wants to talk about her beloved child who is no longer physically part of her life. That child had died with a tragic suddenness or as a result of an illness that usually takes older people. We want to know why or find a reason or some meaning in our child’s death. I don’t see anything morbid in trying to understand.

Memories of our child are all we have left. We have a driving need to hang on to those memories least we lose that small bit of our child. It is not morbid to want to keep that small part alive forever, at least in our hearts and minds.

To walk into a grief support meeting is a loud shout, “I want to live and be happy again.” It is a cry that “My child is dead, but I know she would want me to go on and be a better person for the suffering.” It is a confirmation that “Even though part of my life is gone, there is a reason to go on.” There is nothing morbid about doing what is necessary in order to re-enter the mainstream of life.

Marriages Can & Do Survive the Loss of a Child

~ By Sheri & Bob Stritof

The Unthinkable Grief: Coping With the Death of a Child

When people realize three of our children have died, we hear comments about how amazing it is that our marriage survived such a loss. We also hear dumb statements about how lucky we are to have four healthy kids and how our little ones are in a better place.

REALITIES - The reality is that our marriage survived these heartaches because we worked really hard to make sure the two of us would be okay. The reality is that having surviving children doesn't lessen the pain of losing children. The reality is that I don't care where they may be in the after life, I would prefer to have our babies with us.

WHAT TO DO FOR GRIEVING PARENTS - If the two of us appear to be defensive ... it is because we are defensive. We cringe when we hear what some people say to grieving parents. They have enough to cope with. These couples don't need to deal with hurtful remarks. If you don't know what to say, then don't say anything. Just give them a hug. Let them know you are available to listen and that you care.

STUDIES AND STATISTICS ABOUT GRIEVING PARENTS - There are many who believe that there is an extremely high divorce rate (80-90%) when a couple loses a child. Those claims were based on statistics from a study done in 1985 by Teresa Rando ('Bereaved parents: particular difficulties, unique factors, and treatment issues', Social Work, vol. 30, p. 20).

BUT - In 1999, another survey entitled When a Child Dies was conducted by The Compassionate Friends organization. The results about newly bereaved parents didn't match the earlier findings. It is clear that although couples experience great stress, their marriages aren't destined to fall apart.

"Overall, 72% of parents who were married at the time of their child's death are still married to the same person. The remaining 28% of marriages include 16% in which one spouse had died, and only 12% of marriages that ended in divorce ... Furthermore, even among the 12% of parents whose marriages ended in divorce, only one out of four of them felt that the impact of the death of their child contributed to their divorce."  "While most of the effect after miscarriage is seen in the first two or three years, the impact of a stillbirth persisted for nearly a decade." Source: Margarita Bauza. "Couples more likely to break up after pregnancy loss, U-M research finds." UMich.edu. 4/05/2010.

"Experts say that parents typically never "get over" the loss of a child, but rather learn to adjust and to integrate the loss into their lives. Still, the death of a child remains one of the most stressful life events imaginable. One-fourth to one-third of parents who lose a child report that their marriage suffers strains that sometimes prove irreparable." Source: Jane Brody. Jane Brody's Guide to the Great Beyond: A Practical Primer to Help You and Your Loved Ones Prepare Medically, legally, and Emotionally for the End of Life Random House. 2009. pg. 143.

Perhaps...

~Author Unknown

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings

in Heaven where the love of our lost ones

pours through and shines down upon us

to let us know they are happy.

Turning Tragedy into a Positive

A Friend shared this story with us recently and I'm sure it is a story much like so many of ours - this is the story of a mom from Abilene, Texas ~ Written By Local Reporter Kyle Peveto 5.15.2008

For months after her 9-year-old son died in a bizarre car accident, Myra Dean remained in shock. She took a job in Saipan, a commonwealth of the United States in the Pacific Ocean, and had no idea what to do with her grief until she read about the Compassionate Friends group in a Guam newspaper. The newsletters she received from the organization of bereaved parents helped her understand that she was not alone and that she would be forever changed.

When the StoryCorps Airstream trailer came to Abilene this spring, Dean's boyfriend insisted they reserve a spot to record her story. Her emotional telling of the death of her son Rich struck StoryCorps producers enough that they edited the 40-minute session into a shorter feature that is tentatively scheduled to run on National Public Radio's Morning Edition at 5:30 and 7:30 a.m. Friday.

"It's very raw. She talks about how painful it is. She talks about her feelings, about God and about how she overcame this over time. A bereaved parent is always a bereaved parent. The pain never leaves you," said Gary Jamison, Dean's boyfriend, who conducted the interview in March.

"It comes across on the (recording). It speaks to you; it pulls at your heartstrings."

While living in Kansas City, Kan., 31 years ago, Dean separated from her husband and moved into a home on a quiet street with her son. He was riding his bicycle one Friday evening in May when Dean was preparing to spend a night out with friends. When she went to pick up the baby sitter two blocks away, she left Rich riding his bicycle with his friend, telling him to watch for cars.

Returning, she saw a crowd near Rich's friend's house and an ambulance. Immediately, she knew it was her son. "Some people don't believe that you can know that," she said in her StoryCorps interview. "I don't know if it's the tie between a mother and children, or me and Rich in particular, but I knew."

Rich had been playing in the yard, watching the sunset, when an out-of-control car flipped over the hedge and landed on Rich and his friend. The friend was unscathed. Rich was crushed.  Her father died later that summer, and Dean felt amazed that no one understood her pain.  "Expectations are that in a year, you'll be better. But after the first year, the shock is just wearing off," she told the Reporter-News. "After that is the real roller-coaster ride."

Years later, after founding the first Compassionate Friends chapter in Abilene, she began speaking each semester to an Abilene Christian University class on death and dying. She tried to help the students empathize with a parent who has lost a child.

"When you lose your child, that was your future. ... Even genetically, I was a part of my parents, but they were not a part of me," she said in the interview. "Richard was genetically, physically part of me. And when I talk I always try to find ways to explain to people about the pain, and I say it's as if you've had an invisible amputation." "At some point you get over the pity and say, 'This is life.'"

Jamison heard her speak last fall and encouraged her to write a book or tell the story to other bereaved parents. Then he scheduled the time with StoryCorps. Dean said her life is "like a soap opera." She also has survived kidney cancer and bears an S-shaped scar from the surgery.

Tuesday was the 31st anniversary of Rich's death. For years, she remembered him painfully, but now she acknowledges the day. Now, Dean is the development director for KACU, Abilene's NPR station at ACU. Next to her desk is a framed drawing by Rich of an ocean scene with blue whales and men swimming with tridents.

Rich's death changed her life. She said she knows she will never "get over" his death, but she has learned to live with his memory.

Seasons of Grief

SEASONS OF GRIEF

~Author Unknown

Autumn....

We that are in the fall of our grief

It is crisp, like the autumn wind

We watch grief fall upon us

Like the autumn leaves that falls to the ground

Our days grow longer

We experience the pain of loss

Winter....

We that are in the winter of our grief

It is cold, and dark, and bleak

We wonder if we will ever feel warm again

Our days are short, and nights, lonely and long

We pray for warmth again

Spring....

We that are in the spring of our grief

Our days grow brighter, and warm

We are amazed at the renewal of our souls

Our faith is like the new buds, and spring flowers

It waits to explode forth

To bring new color into our souls

Summer....

We that are in the summer of our grief

We look in wonder at our renewal

It's like the new green grass

The leaves upon the trees

The sun shines down upon us

It brings warmth to our souls

We are splashed in glorious warmth

Our hope is restored

What to expect along this journey from mourning to joy - Part 2 of 2

Yes - the death of a child is the most challenging life task we will ever endure.  Along this journey from mourning to joy, there are many emotional and physical ways in which our journey will take us.  Much of this journey is beyond your control - there is no order to the journey.  But it does help to know that what you are experiencing is normal  - you are not crazy and you are not alone...  We hope that knowing what you might experience will help ease your broken heart...

~ Denial of your loss, thinking that your child will return.

~ Needing to tell and retell the story of your child’s death

~ Inability to function in your job

~ Sensing your child’s presence or an odor or touch associated with your child

~ Having difficulty grocery shopping because of seeing your child’s favorite food(s) on the shelves

~ Irrationally upset with yourself if you smile or laugh, thinking how can I smile, my child is DEAD!

~ Feelings as if your spouse or other family member don’t understand your grief or are not grieving as you think they should. Remember all of us grieve differently.

~ Losing old friends who don’t seem to understand your pain and grief

~ Making new friends through support groups with members who have also experienced the death of a child and therefore understand your feelings.

~ Feeling like you are making progress in your grief work, then slip back into the old feelings.

~ Grief work usually is a succession of two steps forward and one step back over a long period of time

~ Becoming frustrated with others who expect you to “over this” in a month, six months or a year and who say so. Or even being frustrated with yourself for expecting to be “over this” too soon.

~ Grief work form the death of your child is a SLOW process.

~ Be patient with yourself. You are a bereaved Mother.

~ Be gentle with yourself. You are GRIEVING.

What to expect along this journey from mourning to joy - Part 1 of 2

The death of a child is the most challenging life task we will ever endure.  Along this journey from mourning to joy, there are many emotional and physical ways in which our journey will take us.  Much of this journey is beyond your control - there is no order to the journey.  But it does help to know that what you are experiencing is normal  - you are not crazy and you are not alone... 

Those of us who have made this journey before you, have found that knowing or at least being aware of what we might experience helps to ease the pain and alleviate the fear that we are losing our minds... You are not losing your mind - your child has died and you are learning to cope with a tremendous loss.  Your mind and body are simply adjusting to your new reality and that takes time... 

You may experience some or all of these... but know that your journey is yours, very personal and different from anyone elses.  But also remember, that no matter how difficult your journey may be, there are many people who love and care about you.  Turn to those who love and care about you, reach out and allow them to help you, even if that is only to sit with you as your heart breaks..and remember those of us who have made this journey before you are always here for you - your sisters in grief..

Some of the things you may experience or feel are:

~ Depression

~ A profound longing and emptiness

~ Wanting to die. This feeling passes in time; because you will realize that you must go on for the sake of your remaining family members, yourself and your child who died.

~ Profound sadness

~ Crying all the time or at unexpected times

~ Inability to concentrate on anything, frequently misplacing items

~ Wondering “Why???”

~ Forgetfulness

~ Questioning yourself over and over: “If only I had…..?” “Why didn’t I…..?”

~ Placing unnecessary guilt on yourself or others.

~ Anger with yourself, family members, God, the doctor and even your child for dying.

~ Fearing that you are going crazy! (very normal)

~ Great physical exhaustion. Grief is HARD work and consumes much energy!

~ Difficulty sleeping or sleeping all the time to avoid the pain.

~ Physical symptoms such as heaviness in your chest or having difficulty breathing, tightness in your throat, yawning, sighing, gasping or even hyperventilating.

~ Lack of appetite or overeating

~ Weight gain or weight loss

~ Anxiety (Often associated with overprotective behavior toward surviving children and other family members.)

Along The Road...

Along the Road

~ by Robert Browning

I walked a mile with Pleasure;

She chattered all the way,

But left me none the wiser

For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow

And ne’er a word said she;

But oh, the things I learned from her

When Sorrow walked with me.

Listen to Your Heart...

~Rose Moen, TCF Carmel-Indianapolis, IN

When your heart says “cry” but your mind says “don’t”, listen to your heart.

It could be pride, not your mind that is saying “don’t cry,” for tears are hard for ones pride to accept. Crying because your child died does not mean that you are not a strong person. Tears do not mean that you are having problems with emotional instability. You are crying because you hurt.

Next time your heart says, “cry”, listen to it. In the long run, you’ll feel better.

Grief Is Like a River

Grief Is Like a River

~ by Cynthia G. Kelley

My grief is like a river---

I have to let it flow,

But I myself determine

Just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me

In waves of guilt and pain,

But there are always quiet pools

Where I can rest again

I crash on rocks of anger –

My faith seems faint indeed,

But there are other swimmers

Who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me

When the waters are too swift,

And someone kind to listen

When I just seem to drift.

Grief’s river is a process

Of relinquishing the past

By swimming in Hope’s channels

I’ll reach the shore at last.

To Love and to Mourn...

~Alan D Wolfelt, Ph.D from Understanding Grief, Helping Yourself Heal

When someone you care about dies your capacity to love dictates your necessity to mourn.

Work with thousands of bereaved parents, combined with my personal losses, have convinced me of one thing: you cannot heal without mourning or expressing your grief outwardly. Denying your grief, running from it, or minimizing it only seems to make it more confusing and overwhelming. To lessen your hurt, you must embrace it.

Reconciling your grief does not happen quickly. Grief is a process, not an event. Consequently, you must be patient with yourself.

When you come to trust that pain will not last forever, it becomes tolerable. Deceiving yourself into thinking that pain does not even exist will make it intolerable.

A Bend in the Road...

“In the book “A Bend in the Road,” David Jeremiah writes “When you’ve walked through the fire, people begin to listen to you. When you have wisdom borne of suffering you begin to have the tools to accomplish something in the world.”

I saw this first hand when a friend of my husband lost his two year old son. He could not wait to talk to my husband. He searched Don out at the funeral and could not get to my husband fast enough.

He grabbed Don and broke down in his arms. I think just Don’s presence comforted him. When he asked Don how he was going to go on, Don told him there was only one way. He listened while Don explained to him about the love of the Lord Jesus and how HE has carried us through our own trial. I believe the death of our children has given us a freedom to speak to others about our faith and they also tend to listen to us in a more expecting way. We have been through the fire. We have the opportunity and the responsibility to reach out and comfort others and in the process we can spread the word about the Love of the Lord.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, there have been gifts given me from my child. Gifts like NO other. Little nuggets of truth, of heroism, of the purest love I have ever known. Purified by fire, I guess. LIKE GOLD.

There is NO gold purer or more precious than this….and yet sometimes it is so bright that it burns our inner eyes and brings tears and pain to the body and soul. Bright as the sun it emits a power that can heal us and also burn us…yet we hold it tightly in our hearts.

We who have this gold…..are blessed….and cursed….the love, the gifts, the loss, the pain, and yet there is no power in heaven or on earth that can take it away from us….nor would we let them.

Today I’m encouraging those of you who can…..to make your grief into a GOLDEN FIRE……to reach out and embrace another who is hurting. In the reaching out to another, your own HEALING will and CAN begin.

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished.  That will be the beginning.”
………Louis L’Armour

We Remember Them

We Remember Them

~ Author Unknown

In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them.

In the opening buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them.

In the blueness of the sky an in the warmth of summer, we remember them.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live,

for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.