I truly believe that the memories of our children, are one of the best healing legacies that exist after our children die – no one can take these memories from us.. Personally I feel it's been my memories of my 3 children that have died that have helped me keep my sanity during the difficult grieving journeys after each of their deaths. The journey was difficult when I lost my 2 little girls, Randee in 1971 and then Robin in 1972, but it has been especially difficult, since my 3rd child, my 36 year old adult son Bobby, died on September 19th, 2009… Not only were my memories important to me, but I became almost compulsive about making sure that Bobby’s 2 little boys, only 5 & 6 at the time he died, would never forget their dad... Yes, the memories are bittersweet – they make me cry as often as they make me laugh and smile – but they are always there – waiting for me to “visit” whenever I want but his boys were little, how could I help them to remember...
There's no doubt that when Bobby died, one of my biggest fears is that his children, because they were so young, would forget him and what an important part of their daddy’s lives they had been.. I decided I just couldn’t let that happen, so in that first year after Bobby died I decided I'd create a "small memory book" for them. Well almost 700 pictures and 11 months later the book was done and ordered to be given to his boy’s on their dad’s 1st memorial anniversary. Not only did I give them to his boys, but also his brothers, myself of course and to several other close family members and friends.. It’s wonderful to see his boys going thru it quite often……
My next memory project came about quite unexpectedly. It began shortly after this f
irst anniversary – Bobby’s wife Jennifer had not yet gone thru Bobby’s things-they were all still hanging in his closet and in his bureau’s drawer.. His boys wanted some of his things so they and I decided that I should make them a quilt from their dads things – they went about choosing their favorites shirts and even some of his boxer shorts, which they explained is what he wore for pajamas… Preparing them and cutting them up was so much harder than I could have imagined-once done, I put them all in a bag and it took me months to actually begin the task of creating their 2 quilts… finally in April I gathered enough courage to begin the quilts.. Although I’ve sewn for many years – I have never quilted in my life, so beginning this daunting task wa
s scary to say the least… But, with help of my sister Mary and several friends including Colleen and so many others at Jon-Ali’s (who by the way encouraged me to add some photos of Bobby and the boys and I’m so thankful I did) I have finally finished the quilts. The boys were thrilled: they immediately took them to school to show their classes – the youngest, Justin, is in 1st grade and his older brother Dylan is in 2nd grade.. they also have shown them to everyone at the day care center they’ve attended since they were little and to everyone who comes into their home..
And now I’m working to complete the 3rd memory project which I hope to give them on daddy’s 2nd memorial anniversary in September – a true memory book. Yes the book will have more than 1,000 photos of Bobby’s 36 year short life, but just as importantly so much more of their dad’s memorabilia which I’ve been busy scanning in – you know all the things accumulated during a life time, the tags from the hospital basinet when he was born, his report cards & teachers notes, drivers license, resume, pictures he made me as a little boy – all those things that remind me he was really here and not just my imagination… Keepsakes and memories that represent who Bobby was and is – all the tangible lasting things that remind me of the special relationships Bobby had with everyone in his life, including his family and those who loved him most…
This fall, members of our Mom’s Group in Lake Havasu City, AZ will have a chance to create their own Memory Book – Mohave Community College where I teach, has donated the use of my classroom so that I can work with up to 20 mom’s who would like to create their own memory books… So mark your calendars for 2 Saturdays, October 29th & November 5, 9am-1pm to join us and create your own lasting legacy “a memory book of your child/children”…
There's no doubt that when Bobby died, one of my biggest fears is that his children, because they were so young, would forget him and what an important part of their daddy’s lives they had been.. I decided I just couldn’t let that happen, so in that first year after Bobby died I decided I'd create a "small memory book" for them. Well almost 700 pictures and 11 months later the book was done and ordered to be given to his boy’s on their dad’s 1st memorial anniversary. Not only did I give them to his boys, but also his brothers, myself of course and to several other close family members and friends.. It’s wonderful to see his boys going thru it quite often……
My next memory project came about quite unexpectedly. It began shortly after this f
irst anniversary – Bobby’s wife Jennifer had not yet gone thru Bobby’s things-they were all still hanging in his closet and in his bureau’s drawer.. His boys wanted some of his things so they and I decided that I should make them a quilt from their dads things – they went about choosing their favorites shirts and even some of his boxer shorts, which they explained is what he wore for pajamas… Preparing them and cutting them up was so much harder than I could have imagined-once done, I put them all in a bag and it took me months to actually begin the task of creating their 2 quilts… finally in April I gathered enough courage to begin the quilts.. Although I’ve sewn for many years – I have never quilted in my life, so beginning this daunting task wa
s scary to say the least… But, with help of my sister Mary and several friends including Colleen and so many others at Jon-Ali’s (who by the way encouraged me to add some photos of Bobby and the boys and I’m so thankful I did) I have finally finished the quilts. The boys were thrilled: they immediately took them to school to show their classes – the youngest, Justin, is in 1st grade and his older brother Dylan is in 2nd grade.. they also have shown them to everyone at the day care center they’ve attended since they were little and to everyone who comes into their home..And now I’m working to complete the 3rd memory project which I hope to give them on daddy’s 2nd memorial anniversary in September – a true memory book. Yes the book will have more than 1,000 photos of Bobby’s 36 year short life, but just as importantly so much more of their dad’s memorabilia which I’ve been busy scanning in – you know all the things accumulated during a life time, the tags from the hospital basinet when he was born, his report cards & teachers notes, drivers license, resume, pictures he made me as a little boy – all those things that remind me he was really here and not just my imagination… Keepsakes and memories that represent who Bobby was and is – all the tangible lasting things that remind me of the special relationships Bobby had with everyone in his life, including his family and those who loved him most…
This fall, members of our Mom’s Group in Lake Havasu City, AZ will have a chance to create their own Memory Book – Mohave Community College where I teach, has donated the use of my classroom so that I can work with up to 20 mom’s who would like to create their own memory books… So mark your calendars for 2 Saturdays, October 29th & November 5, 9am-1pm to join us and create your own lasting legacy “a memory book of your child/children”…
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