~ Mary Cleckley -Bereaved Parents/Member at Large
It’s
Halloween time again. Is that thought bothering you? It probably is,
particularly if you had a little one who would have been out doing a little
tricking and getting a lot of treating that night.
Or,
maybe your child was too small or didn’t live to see even one Halloween. That
hurts too, doesn’t it?
Sometimes
we grieve for what was and sometimes we grieve for what could have been.
Maybe,
like me, your child was too old for conning neighbors into treats, but it still
is a hard night in the beginning. All special days and nights are.
If you have
small children who need to be
a part of this special night, maybe a family member or a good friend will
accompany them on their appointed rounds. They’ll enjoy the evening just as much
and you can “treat”
yourself by choosing to stop the world and get off for a little while.
If you
have no children at home, this may be a good time to close up shop for that one
night. Take in a movie – or stay at home and give no inviting signs that say
you want to participate in the festivities of the evening.
Do
what is comfortable for you. One day you will be able to enjoy treating the
little ones again. This just may not be the year. Isn’t it good to know our
needs and abilities change as time goes by?
From Halloween until after the new year arrives, it helps to prepare ourselves that this time of year can be overwhelming, especially the first
few years after your child has died, no matter their age. Go easy on yourself and try to be patient
with others - remember those around us mean well as they “encourage” us to participate
during the holiday season, but remember you need to do what is right for you
and those who love you will understand…and if they don't, well that's OK too.. Cherie Houston
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