~ Written by Elisa Medhus, MD
I know many of you watch in pain as the years go by after losing a loved one—one year, two years, five years, ten year, and on and on. If you’re like me, part of you has gained a new spiritual understanding of death and of the soul’s immortality. Yet, despite the comforting fact that we know our loved ones have simply shifted to another dimension right on top of our own—a paradise where we eventually will join them, it’s still hard, isn’t it?
Sometimes, when the house is empty, I call out for Erik like I used to:’ Erik, wake up and let’s go out for breakfast!’ ‘Erik, did you take out the trash?’ ‘Erik, come down for dinner, Sweetie!’ I choke back tears. I sing all of the lullabies that I used to sing when he was a baby. I pray I won’t live to see one hundred. God knows if my family saw me, they’d think I was nuts. I’m already on shaky ground in that territory as it is.
So it’s hard to have all this insight now, but still feel the emptiness in one’s arms and one’s heart, to feel wounded and reduced. We miss the hugs and kisses. We miss the pet nicknames and inside jokes. We miss having someone to nurture. We miss, in a word, the love. This is not to say that love can only emanate to and from one family member or friend, but each love is different. One love lost can never be replaced by another. If a puzzle piece is ripped away from that 3-D puzzle called life, that life is no longer what it was when every piece was in place. Once Erik was torn form my life, I was a right without a left, a to without a fro, a here without a there, a dark without a light. And all the spiritual knowledge we can cram into our minds and our hearts will never be enough. It may well buy us a little time, but, for me, only when we’re together again will I find the satisfaction that comes from feeling whole.
This was written by "Erik Rune Medhus's" mom "Elisa Medhus, MD who is a veteran physician and author, including "Raising Children Who Think for Themselves". She, like us, is a mom whose child has died - Erik was her 20 year old son, who took his own life on October 6ht, 2009. She states that since sad and tragic day, an overwhelming sense of grief and despair propelled her into a search for answers and she shares those thoughts on her blog:
www.channelingerik.com and the above article.blog was posted by Elisa on March 15th this year and sent to me by another mom...