Thursday, November 17, 2011

10 Tips to Survive the Holidays After Your Child Dies (Part 2 of 2)

As we mentioned on Tuesday, the following tips were published by Patricia Loder, executive director of The Compassionate Friends. “It is difficult for those who have not gone through the death of a child to understand the depth of despair which such a loss brings.” Mrs. Loder, whose two young children died in a car crash in 1991, says there are many tips that can help a grieving family prepare for the holidays - but this list of ten (5 on Tuesday and these remaining 5) are ten suggestions that she has found helpful...

Tips 6 - 10:

6) Surviving children should be included in your plans. They, too, mourn their sibling, but need a normalcy the holidays can provide.

7) If you don’t get everything done you plan, be easy on yourself. Grief is tough work and you should never feel guilty for not getting everything done.

8) If you must shop for others, find a time when the stores are not extremely busy like early morning, order through the Internet, or ask others to shop for you.

9) Participating in a memorial service, such as The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting the second Sunday in December, can be very meaningful. This can be done in a formal service with others or through a short private candle lighting in the privacy of your home.

10) Remember that the fearful anticipation of an approaching holiday is usually worse than the day itself.

“Many people believe they can escape the holidays by leaving home on a vacation,” adds Mrs. Loder. “This rarely helps because grief can never be left behind and it is important to have the support of relatives and friends.

Talking with others who have also lost a child can help those facing grief to understand they are not alone. Others have survived the holidays and they will, too.”

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