The Holidays Are Coming....

Until January 2nd, we will be focusing our posts on "surviving the holidays" - it's not an easy task, no matter the age of our child or children then they died or how they died - it is a challenge every holiday season, but especially for those moms and grandmothers who are just in the first year of their journey... No, these articles won't change what you are going through, but we hope they will help you find a way to get through them - to know it is OK to say NO to invitations - and that no matter what you are feeling - you are normal and not crazy... Grieving for our children hurts - it is the price we pay for loving them so much, so although we can't change anything for you - know we will be here to support each other and together we will get through the season... Cherie Houston

The Holidays Are Coming....

~ By Mary Cleckley, BP/USA Member

It’s getting to be that time of year. The holidays are almost upon us, as though you haven’t noticed!

Those of you who are approaching your first Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah without your child are probably already anticipating them without glee. Know that is OK and you are normal.

All of us who have gone through those first of many holidays without our children understand how you feel. I don’t know of any way to avoid that apprehension. It is part of the experience of losing someone you love. I can tell you that the fear of the unknown is one of the worst fears there is. Once you have gone through those special family-oriented times without your child or children, it is an unknown no longer.

In the future, though you may not enjoy them in the same way you once did, at least you know how it feels. You will be able eventually to help yourself and your family discover ways of approaching and observing these days so that they are less traumatic.

I found I got in the worst trouble when I allowed myself to get so far into the future. Worry about this day because this is the only day you have to get through right now., Though you may not think so now, you will once again find something for which to be thankful. It takes time. Be patient. We hope you will find some peace in the weeks ahead.