Families gather for both sad and happy occasions. Happy times and sad times often bring families closer together.
During the Holidays, just like weddings, graduations families gather to celebrate. During these times, everyone is expected to be happy. Relatives and friends want you to join in as you have in the past. But now, without your child, it is difficult - painful - and in that first year, often impossible..
For many, having family around is healing to have their support; for others these gatherings can be overwhelmingly painful reminders of the child that is and will never again be present.
Yes, family and friends usually provide the most comfort and listen as we try to cope with the loss of our child. But even the closest of relatives and friends cannot completely understand the hurt we feel - Preparing for what is to come can help make these gatherings easier for you...Remember...
Friends and relatives want...
- to take your pain away ...
- to offer you HOPE for better times ...
- to see you "back to normal again" ...
- to help you "forget about what happened."
But try to realize and accept BEFORE the gatherings that...
- no one can take your pain away ...
- there will be better times, but they will be different without your child ...
- your life does not feel like it will ever be "normal" again ...
- your heart is breaking and it's okay to be sad and cry...
- you will never forget your child...
But know that with time, you will find:
- a new normal
- new traditions or modify those you've had in the past
- Joy, although very different, joy will return to your heart again
- and build new memories
- peace and rejoice in the memories of your child…
Remember to be patient with yourself and others...
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