Why am I Crying?
This is a question that
comes up every spring, particularly from newly bereaved. It’s something we have always looked forward
to, before tragedy hit. The cold, drab,
bleak winter is finally over. Somehow,
we thought that magical time would be the magic that would free us from our
pain. Unfortunately, not so! Perhaps it’s because we see this beauty
unfolding, and our children are not here to share it.
The devastating knowledge
is that the “magic” of spring didn’t change our feelings. The fact the world seems to go on, just as if
nothing has happened, when our world
seems to have stopped, seems impossible to comprehend. False expectations. What we tend to forget is that seasons
change, where we are in our grief cycle is what controls our feelings.
Just hold on to the fact
that spring is a rebirth of what seems dead, as dead as you feel now. It is true, you will never stop missing your
child, however, hold on to the belief that your spring will come again,
too. When it does, it will be
different.
Just as the trees and flowers
are not the same, you won’t be either.
But their beauty is still there, and as you start to come back to life
again, you will find different joys in life.
We all run on a different
calendar, so no time frame can be put on your spring. Just know that your feelings are perfectly
normal. It may seem that you are back at
square one, but look back, remember what it was like in the beginning, and I
think you will realize there has been progress,
and there will be more.
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