Saturday, April 27, 2013

Such a Beautiful Day….

~written by Mary Ehmann, Valley Forge BP/USA

Why am I Crying?

This is a question that comes up every spring, particularly from newly bereaved.  It’s something we have always looked forward to, before tragedy hit.  The cold, drab, bleak winter is finally over.  Somehow, we thought that magical time would be the magic that would free us from our pain.  Unfortunately, not so!  Perhaps it’s because we see this beauty unfolding, and our children are not here to share it. 

The devastating knowledge is that the “magic” of spring didn’t change our feelings.  The fact the world seems to go on, just as if nothing has happened, when  our world seems to have stopped, seems impossible to comprehend.  False expectations.  What we tend to forget is that seasons change, where we are in our grief cycle is what controls our feelings.

Just hold on to the fact that spring is a rebirth of what seems dead, as dead as you feel now.  It is true, you will never stop missing your child, however, hold on to the belief that your spring will come again, too.  When it does, it will be different.  

Just as the trees and flowers are not the same, you won’t be either.  But their beauty is still there, and as you start to come back to life again, you will find different joys in life. 

We all run on a different calendar, so no time frame can be put on your spring.  Just know that your feelings are perfectly normal.  It may seem that you are back at square one, but look back, remember what it was like in the beginning, and I think you will realize there has been progress,  and there will be more.  

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