Help To Regain Joy After Loss ~ Tips 13 - 15

Here are the last three tips to help you regain joy in your life - Tips 13-15; Written by Dr. Lissa Rankin, from the website: http://www.owningpink.com/

13. Take a gratitude walk. Get outside, walk around, and think about what makes you feel grateful. Count your small blessings. Maybe you’re grateful for the purple lupine or the cottonwood that makes the air feel alive. Perhaps you’re grateful you no longer have to sort your loved one’s laundry. Maybe, by losing someone you love, you’re free to follow your own dreams, after being a caretaker. Look for the opportunity hidden in your loss, and don’t judge yourself.

14. Try Laughter Yoga. Yes, such a thing really exists. We know that laughter is good for us, but who feels like laughing when you’re feeling terribly sad? Laughter yoga is a combination of yoga breathing exercises (pranayama), childlike playfulness, and laughter. It’s based on the notion that your body can’t tell the difference between real laughter and fake laughter. In other words, fake it ‘til you make it. Chances are, you’ll feel so silly, genuine laughter will follow.

15. Remember, pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Choose Joy instead
 
On behalf of all of us at The Journey from Mourning to Joy we wish for each of you who finds your way to us ~ we wish you health, happiness, peace and joy in the New Year and remember we are always here for you as together we continue on this journey.

How To Regain Joy After Loss ~ Tips 10 thru 12

Here are the next three tips to help you regain joy in your life - Tips 10-12; Written by Dr. Lissa Rankin, from the website: http://www.owningpink.com

10. After a reasonable amount of time has passed (during which you get to cry whenever you damn well want to), set aside time to grieve ~ but don’t allow yourself to wallow. Maybe every Wednesday is wailing Wednesdays, when you get to sob uncontrollably all day long. But when Thursday rolls around, brush yourself off and give yourself permission to experience Joy. Go bowling. Watch a funny movie. Meet your friends for a lunch date. Pick wildflowers in a field. Don’t let your loss define your entire existence – of course you will have moments often for years to come, but do your best to brush yourself off and find Joy in your day.


11. Get outside and exercise. If you can’t get motivated, ask someone else to make you accountable.

12. Do something silly. Play on the swings like you’re five again. Stand on your hands and have someone take a picture of you. Paint your toenails green. Get your face painted. Shoot silly string at your best friend when she isn’t expecting it. Dance when nobody else is dancing. It’s okay. People know you’re grieving, so your friends will give you a long leash.

How to Regain Joy After Loss ~ Tips 7 thru 9

Here are the next three tips to help you regain joy in your life - Tips 7-9; Written by Dr. Lissa Rankin, from the website: http://www.owningpink.com/

7. Play happy music. Leave it on in your car. Keep a mix CD in your CD player. Make a happy Pink Playlist for your Ipod. Listen to it whenever you can.


8. Be creative. Creative expression can often put you in touch with healing energy you didn’t even know you had – paint, sew, write, cook, draw, pottery – something you’ve always wanted to do or something you haven’t done in years you may be pleasantly surprised by your results.

9. Surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you and allow you to feel exactly what you feel. These people are precious. They will hold the space for you when you feel sad and need support. And they will share your joy when you find it.

How to Regain Joy After Loss ~ Tips 4 thru 6

Here are the next three tips to help you regain joy in your life - Tips 4-6; Written by Dr. Lissa Rankin, from the website: http://www.owningpink.com

4. Find a spiritual community to support you. For many of us our faith is what sustains us through tragedy, but for some, tragedy can cause us to doubt our faith. Be patient with yourself, you will find your faith again. In the meantime or if you are not a church-goer, try a yoga class, a spiritual dance experience, or a dharma talk.

5. Eat well. When you’re grieving, it’s easy to lose the motivation to prepare healthy food, so it’s easy to let your health slide. Joy will be hard to find if you’re ill. Take care of YOU.

6. Make a date to get out of your home at least once a week. Schedule friends that will pick you up and do something enjoyable and playful with you that makes you smile and that you truly enjoy.

How To Regain Joy After Loss ~ Tips 1 thru 3

As this year winds down and we prepare to welcome a new year - know that it is possible to find joy again.  We hope these tips might help in your journey from mouring to joy as we begin 2010!!  We will share 3 tips each day for the next 5 days - Written by Dr. Lissa Rankin, from the website: http://www.owningpink.com/ We hope you will find them helpful - Here are Tips 1 thru 3

1. First, don’t skip grieving. You can’t possibly hopscotch straight past loss to Joy. But you don’t have to wait years to experience Joy again. When you feel it bubbling up within you, embrace it.

2. Realize that being joyful does not undermine your loss. Don’t make your life a testament to what you’ve lost. You’re not proving anything (that you’re right, that you loved dearly, or that you deserve attention) by staying stuck in your story.

3. Make sure you get enough sleep. Grieving is hard work, and it’s hard to feel joyful when stress is keeping you up at night. If you can’t sleep, seek professional help.

My First Christmas in Heaven

~ by Unknown

I've had my first Christmas in Heaven, a glorious, wonderful day!

I stood with the saints of the ages, who found Christ, the truth and the Way.
I sang with the Heavenly choir: just think! I who loved to sing!

And, Oh! What celestial music we brought to our Savior and King!

We sang the glad songs of redemption, how Jesus to Bethlehem came,

And how they had called His name Jesus, that all might be saved through His name.
We sang once with the angels, the song that they spoke that blest morn

When shepherds first heard the glad story, that Jesus, the Savior, was born

O dear ones, I wish you had been here. No Christmas on earth could compare

With all the rapture and glory, we witnessed in Heaven so fair.
You know how I always loved Christmas; tt seemed such a wonderful day,

With all of my loved ones around me, the children so happy and gay.

Yes, now I can see why I loved it andnd Oh, what a joy it will be

When you and my loved ones are with me, to share in the glories I see.

So, dear ones on earth, here’s my greeting, look up till the day dawn appears,

And Oh, what a Christmas awaits us, beyond our parting tears.

So smile for me now and be happy and enjoy what's ahead - do not weep

Know I'm here waiting for you - when we'll enjoy a glorious Christmas together again..

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM HEAVEN

~ Author: John Wm. Mooney, Jr.

I still hear the songs

I still see the lights

I still feel your love

on cold wintry nights

I still share your hopes

and all of your cares

I'll even remind you

to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you

you still make me proud

You stand head and shoulders

above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment

to stay in His grace

I came here before you

to help set your place

You don't have to be

perfect all of the time

He forgives you the slip

If you continue the climb

To my family and friends

please be thankful today

I'm still close beside you

In a new special way

I love you all dearly

now don't shed a tear

Cause I'm spending my

Christmas with Jesus this year.

I WILL BE THERE

by Sharon J. Bryant

Mom, tomorrow I will be there

Though you may not see

I'll smile and remember

The last Christmas, with you and me

Don't be sad mom

I'm never far away

Your heart has hidden sight

My memory will always stay

I watched as you touched the ornaments

Sometimes a tear was shed as you did

I touched you gently on your shoulder

And on tiptoes I proudly stood

I'm only gone for a little while mom

I'm waiting for the day to be

When God calls out your name mom

We'll be together, just you wait and see

But until that time comes

Carry on as you did when I was there

I tell the angels how much I love you

There are angels here everywhere!

I stand behind you some days

When I know that you are sad

I want you to be happy mom

It would make my heart so glad

So on this Christmas Eve, Mom

Think of me as I will be thinking of you

And touch that special ornament

That I once made for you

I love you mom and dad, also

I know you know I do

And I'll be waiting here for you

When your earthly life is through

Love, Your child in Heaven

You can read Sharon's notes on the holiday on her website: http://www.angelabode.com/holidayideas.html

HOLIDAYS OF SADNESS

~ by Brigitte Synesael

When you have lost someone very dear to you, the most difficult obstacle to cross is getting through the holidays. Surviving the days where everyone around you is celebrating and spreading good cheer, while your mind is filled with memories and your heart is heavy with loneliness. It’s difficult just making it through what used to be the happiest days that were once shared with our child or loved one, and today carries only emptiness. The greatest challenge is to remain in the company of others who love you, when you really want to be alone with your sadness.

It makes no difference whether the loss took place last week, several months ago, or even last year. The holidays always send those deep emotions flooding right to the surface.

Just as how you deal with grief is personal and individual, so is the way you handle the holidays. Remember to be true to yourself, and don’t take on too much responsibility. Let people know that your plans may be subject to change, and you can’t make long term commitments just yet. Be honest with yourself and with your friends and family about how you’re feeling.

Some people find it best to start new traditions, because the past ones hold memories too difficult to deal with. Talk with your family about setting expectations. Plan together any modifications you will all make to the “normal” holiday festivities. You may want to have a church service dedicated to the memory of your loved one. Or make an annual donation in his/her name. Perhaps join the Hospice Tree Lighting ceremony. Bring joy to another child by purchasing a special toy for the Angel Tree in memory of your child.

Be honest about how you’re feeling, but when ever possible, try to include a positive twist into your thoughts. Instead of : “I miss my ….. so much, there is no Christmas without him/her.” TRY “I do miss my ……. Christmas will be different this year, but I will try to enjoy it.” Instead of: “I HATE this time of year. I can’t wait until it’s over.” TRY “This is a difficult time of year for me. But it does give me an opportunity to become closer to my family and friends.”

Some people heal best by helping others. Try volunteering at an organization who help people with a greater need than yours. i.e. A soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, orphanages, etc. Often the best therapy is helping others. Aside from the obvious benefits of keeping your mind occupied and seeing that there are others in worse situations than yourself, charity work gives you a tremendous feeling of fulfillment. It can give you a renewed sense of purpose, so important during times of sadness.

Above all else, give yourself permission to enjoy yourself, to laugh, and to find peace. Each of these things are part of healing. Your life will never be the same, but it will go on, and it can still be good. Close your eyes for just a moment ~ bring into the room with you the clearest image of the person that you have lost. Now say “I love you and I miss you. You will always be in my heart. I need to know... is it okay for me to be happy again?”

Now, imagine the answer that you receive. If you remember your loved one in their true light, I’m confident the answer will be YES. Find peace over the holidays, and be good to you.

About the Author: Brigitte Synesael is recognized as an authority on Alternative Medicine Information. A published author, one of her latest releases is "You've Got Nothing To Lose But POUNDS!"

TO ALL PARENTS

~ by Edgar Guest

"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said.

"For you to love the while he lives and mourn when he is dead,

"It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,

"But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

"He'll bring his charms to gladden you, but should his stay be brief,

"You'll have his lovely memories, as solace for your grief,

"I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,

"But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

"I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true,

"And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you.

"Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,

"Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord, Thy will be done!

"For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness; we'll love him while we may,

And for happiness we've known forever grateful stay.

"But should the angels call for him much sooner than we'd planned,

"We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."