Friday, May 21, 2010

To Love and to Mourn

~Alan D Wolfelt, Ph.D from Understanding Grief, Helping Yourself Heal
When someone you care about dies your capacity to love dictates your necessity to mourn. Work with thousands of bereaved parents, combined with my personal losses, have convinced me of one thing: you cannot heal without mourning or expressing your grief outwardly. Denying your grief, running from it, or minimizing it only seems to make it more confusing and overwhelming. To lessen your hurt, you must embrace it.

Reconciling your grief does not happen quickly. Grief is a process, not an event. Consequently, you must be patient with yourself. When you come to trust that pain will not last forever, it becomes tolerable. Deceiving yourself into thinking that pain does not even exist will make it intolerable.

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