Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A moment in time that creates the before & after…

~ By Cherie Houston

No matter the age or cause of our child’s death – for each of us, the moment of our child’s death will forever be frozen in time.

Whether we are young or old, rich or poor, whether our child was lost during pregnancy or well into their adult years for every parent, this is true. Yes, no matter who we are this is true, you, me, each mom in our group and groups like ours around the world, for Jacqueline Kennedy, Rose Kennedy, Paul Newman, Bill Cosby, John Travolta and recently Marie Osmond – yes as parents, we all agree that when our child dies, our life becomes divided into two periods “before and after” our child’s death.

No matter the shock of that moment we receive the news or watch as our child passes, whether it was anticipated or a total shock, each of us will forever remember and replay each and every detail of that moment as though it happened yesterday. Yes, no matter how many months or years pass, we will continue to mark the before and after by that horrific moment in time.

As we continue on our journey from mourning, our normal sense of time is changed forever and we find that we count the time we have lived without their presence - at first the days, then the weeks, months and then the years..  Yes grieving changes time for us – in those first heart stopping hours after their death, life – the world – and time seems to stop - I believe it does that intentionally as God and nature’s way of allowing our mind, heart and soul to gather the strength that we will need in the days and months ahead…

Yes, life – the world and time will begin again – and so will we.  And when it does – it will be different – a new normal will begin to emerge and we, like so many before us, will define so many things inour lives by the "before and after"…  I hope that eventually you will find "peace" when you recollect the "before" and find joy and peace as you move into and through the tomorrows of the "after"...

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