Memories of Thanksgiving since my child died

As we prepare for Thanksgiving, know that your feelings are normal – grief is a roller coaster journey of ups and downs and there is no right or wrong way to “behave” or grieve, so be patient with yourself and others and know that whatever you decide to do about these upcoming holidays is your choice and those who love you will hopefully understand… But know that your tremendous heartache will ease-this mother ‘s memories are a reflection of so many of our memories and I hope it will help you in some small way… Cherie Houston 

THANKSGIVING

~ by Priscilla J. Norton, TCF, Pawtucket, RI

I remember –

the inability to chew or swallow that first Thanksgiving after Linda died; the choke-backed tears, the sick heart, the hollowness, the painful memories of Thanksgivings past and the blessed relief sleep brought to my pain.

I remember –

the busyness of working as a volunteer that second and third Thanksgiving after Linda died; the good feeling it gave me of “running away” from it all, and the blessed relief sleep brought to my pain.

I remember –

the inability to prepare any of her favorite foods that fourth Thanksgiving after Linda died; the tears that fell at the smell of turkey cooking, the parade, football games, the emptiness, the incomplete family, and  the blessed relief sleep brought to my pain.

I remember –

awakening with a lightness and joy in my heart that fifth Thanksgiving after Linda died; the thankfulness for having my remaining family together,  the beautiful memories of past Thanksgivings, the “wholeness” of me and the blessed relief peace brought to my pain.