I'm There Inside Your Heart

~ author Unknown

I’M THERE INSIDE YOUR HEART

 Right now I’m in a different place,

And though we seem apart,

I’m closer than I ever was….

I’m there inside your heart.

I’m with you when you greet each day

And while the sun shines bright,

I’m there to share the sunsets, too…

I’m with you every night.

I’m with you when the times are good,

To share a laugh or two,

And if a tear should start to fall…

I’ll still be there for you.

And when that day arrives

That we no longer are apart,

I’ll smile and hold you close to me…..

Forever in my heart.

The Cord

THE CORD

~Author Unknown~

We are connected, my child and I,

by an invisible cord, not seen by the eye.

It’s not like the cord that connects us ‘til birth

    this cord can’t be seen by any on Earth.

This cord does its work right from the start,

It binds us together attached to my heart.

I know that it’s there though no one can see,

     the invisible cord from my child to me.

The strength of this cord Is hard to describe,

It can’t be destroyed, it can’t be denied.

It’s stronger than any cord man could create

It withstands the test, can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,

Though you’re not here with me,

The cord is still there but no one can see.

It pulls at my heart,

I am bruised….I am sore.

But this cord is my lifeline as never before.

I am thankful that God

Connects us this way

A Mother and Child~

Death can’t take it away!

A Bend in the Road

~ Author Unknown

“In the book “A Bend in the Road,” David Jeremiah writes “When you’ve walked through the fire, people begin to listen to you.  When you have wisdom borne of suffering you begin to have the tools to accomplish something in the world.” 

I saw this first hand when a friend of my husband lost his two year old son.  He could not wait to talk to my husband.  He searched Don out at the funeral and could not get to my husband fast enough.

He grabbed Don and broke down in his arms.  I think just Don’s presence comforted him.  When he asked Don how he was going to go on, Don told him there was only one way. He listened while Don explained to him about the love of God and how HE has carried us through our own trial. I believe the death of our children has given us a freedom to speak to others about our faith and they also tend to listen to us in a more expecting way.  We have been through the fire.  We have the opportunity and the responsibility to reach out and comfort others..  

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, there have been gifts given me from my child.  Gifts like NO other.  Little nuggets of truth, of heroism, of the purest love I have ever known.  Purified by fire, I guess. LIKE GOLD. 

There is NO gold purer or more precious than this….and yet sometimes it is so bright that it burns our inner eyes and brings tears and pain to the body and soul.  Bright as the sun it emits a power that can heal us and also burn us…yet we hold it tightly in our hearts.

We who have this gold…..are blessed….and cursed….the love, the gifts, the loss, the pain, and yet there is no power in heaven or on earth that can take it away from us….nor would we let them.

Today I’m encouraging those of you who can…..to make your grief into a GOLDEN FIRE……to reach out and embrace another who is hurting.  In the reaching out to another, your own HEALING will and CAN begin.

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.”   ………Louis L’Armour

I STILL MISS HER!

I STILL MISS HER!

~ Author Unknown

Do you still miss her?

Someone asked today.

It’s been over twenty years,

Hasn’t the pain gone away?

I admit, I’m doing better.

I never thought I would.

I even laugh again,

I was sure I never could.

Still some of my days darken

When I hear a certain song,

Especially during holidays

When family ties are strong.

I know that I am healing,

I have learned to survive.

I live my life again

With the pain that’s deep inside.

Yes, I still miss her

And sometimes I still cry

In my heart we are together,

My little Angel and I.

Just for Today (Section 5 of 6)

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,

for they are hurting too,

and perhaps we can help each other.

for the next several days, I will continue to post a separate section from this powerful poem "Just for Today" to ponder....

This poem was written for bereaved parents by Vicki Tushingham. In August 2010, Kelly Farley, Founder of “The Dads Project” and a wonderful blog for grieving dads, shared this same series with his readers… I agree with Kelly and would encourage you to share this with others… I would also encourage you to visit Kelly’s blog for dads (and moms also). If you know of a grieving dad, refer them to the blog, it truly is a wonderful resource for dads, who often get lost in this journey from mourning for their children …

Kelly’s Blog: http://www.grievingdads.wordpress.com/

Just For Today (Section 4 of 6)

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside

for maybe if I smile a little,

my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

For the next several days, I will continue to post a separate section from this powerful poem "Just for Today" to ponder....

This poem was written for bereaved parents by Vicki Tushingham. In August 2010, Kelly Farley, Founder of “The Dads Project” and a wonderful blog for grieving dads, shared this same series with his readers… I agree with Kelly and would encourage you to share this with others… I would also encourage you to visit Kelly’s blog for dads (and moms also). If you know of a grieving dad, refer them to the blog, it truly is a wonderful resource for dads, who often get lost in this journey from mourning for their children …

Kelly’s Blog: http://www.grievingdads.wordpress.com/

A FABLE

~ Author Unknown

There once lived a family who felt that God had especially blessed them. They had health; they felt secure in their love of God and their love for each other.

On the mantle of the fireplace stood a vase. It was a strong, sturdy vase – attractive but not extravagant. It had been a wedding gift and to them, it symbolized their family. It had with-stood the bumps of moving and toddlers’ antics as the family had withstood the buffets and ordeals of life. The scars and chips could be detected only on very close scrutiny.

The day the oldest son in the family died, the vase was found on the mantel, shattered into many pieces. No one bothered to gather up the pieces. It was left for some time in its broken condition on the mantel.

After some time had passed, thought was given to putting the vase back together. Little enthusiasm was generated, but eventually the task was begun. The family worked together, each adding a piece or a suggestion about getting it mended. Each one of the family members got discouraged and more than once some one of them was heard to say, “It just can’t be done.”

Finally, after many months, the vase was back in its normal pace on the mantel. To the casual observer, it looked strong and sturdy and no one would guess it was less than perfect. But, on closer examination, it obviously had been shattered and put back together, and on turning it around, one could see that one large piece was permanently missing. It had never been found and served to remind the family that, although their hearts could mend and heal, their lives would never be the same.

As bereaved parents our hearts are broken and can never be the same. Our hearts will always have the cracks but also a piece is missing that can never be replaced.

The Loss of a Child

~ Auhor Unknown

THE LOSS OF A CHILD

The moment that I knew you had died,

My heart split in two,

The one side filled with memories,

The other died with you.

I often lay awake at night,

When the world is fast asleep,

And take a walk down memory lane,

With tears upon my cheek.

Remembering you is easy,

I do it every day,

But missing you is a heartache,

That never goes away.

I hold you tightly within my heart,

And there you will remain,

Life has gone on without you,

But it never will be the same.

For those who still have their children,

Treat them with tender care,

I pray you never know the emptiness,

As when you turn and they are not there

HUGS FROM HEAVEN

~ by Charlotte Anselmo

When you feel a gentle breeze, caress you when you sigh

It's a hug sent from Heaven, From a loved one way up high.

If a soft and tender raindrop, lands upon your nose

They've added a small kiss, As fragile as a rose.

If a song you hear fills you with a feeling of sweet love

It's a hug sent from Heaven, from someone special up above.

If you awaken in the morning, to a bluebird's chirping song

It's music sent from Heaven, to cheer you all day long.

If tiny little snowflakes, land upon your face

It's a hug sent from Heaven, trimmed with Angel lace.

So keep the joy in your heart, if you're lonely my dear friend

Hugs that are sent from Heaven, a broken heart will mend.

Listen to Your Heart...

~Rose Moen, TCF Carmel-Indianapolis, IN

When your heart says “cry” but your mind says “don’t”, listen to your heart.

It could be pride, not your mind that is saying “don’t cry,” for tears are hard for ones pride to accept. Crying because your child died does not mean that you are not a strong person. Tears do not mean that you are having problems with emotional instability. You are crying because you hurt.

Next time your heart says, “cry”, listen to it. In the long run, you’ll feel better.

The overwhelming pain of losing an infant

~~ Cherie Houston

Today I remember my beautiful daughter Robin Marie whose stay was so very brief - only 7 months -Robin was born December 29th, 1971 and we lost her to S.I.D.S. on July 31st, 1972.  As I reflect I can't help but think of all of all the moms who share this special ache - Lisa, Jessica, Kristin, Nikki and countless others - you know who you are - the pain is always there, just below the surface - remember that special little someone who is misssing...

The ache of a young mom is different - I know because I've lost a newborn, and then a 7 month old and last fall a 36 year old and they are all very different.  The ache for a newborn and infant - that  is an ache that resonates throughout our bodies, not only in our hearts but deep within our wombs.  There are times, when we actually think we can feel that faint flutter, you remember - the one that reminds us of that very first sensation - that caused such overwhelming excitement - you wanted to scream to the world "I'm gong to be a mom".  And when we lose a child - of any age - we lose a future - dreams - hopes and endless possibilities that will never be and the loss of memories that will never occur... BUT....

There's no doubt, that once we conceive that precisous child - we are moms and will forever be moms - no matter how young or old - no matter how long we are allowed to enjoy them here on earth - we, from the moment of conception, are moms...  I'm not sure who sent me this poem or when I received it, but it is in with those special memories I had tucked away with her sister Randee Marie's (Randee had died the previous March '71) and Robin's things and I wanted to share it with those other "new moms" who are feeling that ache...

Tiny Footprints on a Mother's Heart

When a baby arrives,

be it for a moment, day, month, year or more,

or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment-

the fragile spark of a tender soul

the secret swell of a new pregnancy

the goldfish flutter known to only you-

you are unmistakeningly changed...

the tiny footprints left behind on your heart

bespeak your name as Mother.